Easter-Themed Post #1 (unless I get bored or forget again)

14 Apr

Last week I had two posts that almost got published… part of me wants to try to beat it this week but maybe it’s not worth the lack of effort.

That said, I’ve been going through a phase lately where I sit down to write and cannot think of one single thing to say that a) I haven’t already said, b) is halfway interesting to write and c)  is halfway interesting to read. I’ve decided that it definitely is a phase. I WILL COME UP WITH INTERESTING PROSE. (If you exist, muses, please drop me a line.) In the mean time, who else wants to punch singing fruit in the face?

Jesus Christ at least Veggie Tales has a purpose. I think it’s supposed to have a Christian message or something, haha (remember the time I watched it in RS? Simpler times, when I thought it was okay to slice up Ruby’s art and readers left messages so I knew who they were. Hint hint).

Speaking of which, can anyone explain why this cartoon involves palm trees, shrubs and green hills in the Middle East?

Genuine question: if you’re going to educate children about the Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection – especially with the Christian perspective of ensuring they believe it – surely the first thing you want to get right is the basic setting?

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The Six O’Clock News: Opinion Poll-ish

11 Apr

The news I was planning on doing doesn’t exist, unless Google’s eaten it (someone wrote to JK Rowling saying she wasn’t letting authors get published by publishing so many books?) so this was going to be a cop out until I remembered that slow news days happen in actual newsrooms too!

Do you guys remember when Harry was eavesdropping on the news in The Order of the Phoenix and there was an article about a waterskiing budgie?

Well, I want to know the most absurd news broadcast you’ve ever heard, discounting an April’s Fool. My current favourite is the author-yelling-at-Rowling one, if it’s real…but I also endorse anything that makes Have I Got News for You; the other week there was a mention of a cash machine placed about fifteen inches from the ground. Perfect for Richard Osman jokes, but it begs two questions:

  • Is something like that actually worth reporting on when there are things like human rights abuses occurring daily with relatively little media attention on them?
  • what, if you had the power, would you consider and broadcast as news?

The Six O’Clock News: Documentary Day #1

4 Apr

I can’t type with my right hand because I’ve done three essays this week and it’s achy and I can’t type with my left hand because I cut my index finger so I am tapping this out using three fingers and a thumb. Dexterity is my word of the day… and writing coherently isn’t going to happen, so here is a documentary that was on BBC Three last week.

They’re shutting down BBC Three for television and moving it to the Internet because its shit programmes put people off its great ones (officially: it’s quite expensive). James Cordon has a point about consumers’ habits changing, but it worries me a bit that if the channel goes, less people will see things like this:

Did I want an excuse to put ‘boobies’ in the tag box? Yes. (I’m secretly a six-year-old when it comes to laughing at swears. Haha ‘swears’.) Was it news that twenty-somethings can get cancer and die? Yep, and I can count six people I personally know who have or had had cancer. So cancer isn’t news but it still manages to continue to reach new levels of shittiness… hopefully if more shows like this get broadcast, maybe I’ll get to do a post about cancer-curing treatments in future?

I actually can’t type like this without wanting to kill my computer so ‘documentary day’ may become a thing for the next time I screw up my hand(s). Anyone have any suggestions?

 

April Fools Are for Sissies. Here Are Some Words Instead.

1 Apr

It’s the first of the month and it’s sunny, which I think means that a spot of spring cleaning is in order…

The Webways is hiring a social media administrator to help out with running the place. If you like MCR and you have an hour or two a week to spare, please please apply. It pains me to say it, but I can’t run it by myself any more. I know, I thought I’m infallible too. But it turns out I’m not, I’m actually really busy – and if any of my projects are going to be as great as they can be, I have to start delegating or I’ll loose my mind brilliant standards more sleep. Please no, I have exams soon.

Speaking of exams, a few months ago I was chatting to Ellen and Isobel about stuff I could make that hasn’t been made but should have been, and between us we came up with this:

Weekly Revision Timetable by Francesca Burke

I Photoshopped it my very own self and it works. No more shitty frills and stupid font, no more space that’s taken up by crap executives think you need… just a revision timetable (or general planner, now I think of it) that lets you plan your revision. Did I mention it’s available here for a fraction of the price of a notebook you’ll never use? All proceeds go toward funding this place and The Webways, of course, which reminds me:

I was being serious about this funding idea. I don’t have a lot of spare cash and I really, really don’t want to sell advertising space. I know I don’t blog as much as I used to – hi again exams – and I know that nobody likes posting comments or spending more than 0.5 seconds on a webpage these days, but I do quite love this site. I have high hopes for her, in the same way one has high hopes that their pets will learn to swim.

From corgianddachshund.tumblr.com

From corgianddachshund.tumblr.com

I may or may not be building a collection of animal images and GIFs for use in every available post. Anyway, pleaseplease let me know if you’re into the idea of a writing/art-money exchange, or if you have any other suggestions. (Personally I would like an Indifferent Ignorance-coloured bobble hat and Webways mug and coaster but I don’t think there’s a market for either. Unless there is. I don’t know unless you tell me. Damnit these brackets need to end soon.)

The Eleven O’Clock News: How to Check the Apocalypse is Happening

28 Mar

So this is the last news ever posted while not everyone can get married in England and Wales. Unless the government turns turns to India for legislation advice anyway. Just in case that UKIP guy was right and tomorrow we’re all flooded out of house and home, leaving nothing but our Internet footprint as a sign of pre-equal marriage existence, here is a fun game of things to look out for during the apocalypse:

Ah damnit I wanted to make an actual game that people could tick off to check the world was ending. Sorry. Next week I will endeavour to write a post that serves the wider community.

The Eleven O’Clock News: I Forgot to Title This But It’s Real Good for Learning Stuff.

21 Mar

I’m tapping this out on my iPad partially because I want to watch Sport Relief and partially because Sport Relief is basically what I always wanted PE to be as well as everything I’m studying in Politics at the moment… Minus the debates about the benefits of nuclear proliferation.

So far, anyway.

Everything on TV pertaining to non-UK issues has so far has some sort of relevance as a case study exemplifying the bullshit that is rich people wanting to get richer and exploiting everyone else. The UK-based issues are no less relevant since we face them everyday… which calls into question why they are still even issues that require fundraising. Ugh. I can’t even find an appropriate GIF to express the disgust everyone should feel when they remember the shit that happens. Trust me, I just saw things no non-fangirl should ever see when Googling Sherlock.

Since this is the news and not just me getting angry here is some evidence of the bullshit from broadcasters with a modicum of credibility. Mostly. Hopefully you will find it interesting and helpful for Geography/Politics/quizzes/sounding smarter than the tabloid-reading misogynist you’ve been seated next to at a dinner party:

  • CIA World Factbook. It’s a bit tricky to navigate at first but you can pick a country and read about it in a pleasantly organised fashion, or compare states’ places on a list of, say, literary rates.
  • BBC country profiles. They’re a bit more wordy than the Factbook, with straightforward explanations of states’ histories and things that are quite useful, like phone extensions and Internet domains.
  • Historically-Political blog. I only saw this today but it was recommended by a teacher which makes it legit. It has examples of Politics and History essay questions which are horrible good at giving you the lowdown on Important Subjects. There’s also informed discussion about politics-y stuff, like here but with better grades.
  • YouTube. Amongst the baby cats and Tim Minchin videos (someone buy me a CD so I get offline when I’m working) there are documentaries and clips originally from TV shows or films. Take with a bucketful of salt, especially if you’re bootlegging a Hollywood film where they decided to impose a hero figure onto a story with almost no fucking hope (hi Blood Diamond! S’okay Leo I forgive you have a wee Oscar) and do your own research. “Be a sponge not a filter, Charlie.” Blood Diamond is a good watch for the record… I have a pair of bling-y earrings that I really, really don’t want to check went through the Kimberly Process.

The iPad is doing my head in – I also missed the ten o’clock mark because I was laughing at Beckham in Peckham and eating chocolate, mentally calculating how many children I could save if I emptied my bank account for Sport Relief…

It’s not a lot, but I guess it doesn’t have to be?

Audience Participation Time Please! (Don’t worry it’s only a comment.)

19 Mar

Hello snowflakes.

This week I’ve been attempting to organise myself and get closer to being a perfect handbag lady (without the threat of a breakdown, mostly) and that is why I’ve discovered – well, started using – HootSuite for all my Internet stuff. It’s very good, although I’m still learning it, but there is a snag: to add all the accounts I need to, especially for The Webways, I’ll have to upgrade to the ‘pro’ setting. It’s $10 a month which isn’t a whole lot but I don’t currently have a form of employment and won’t have one until the summer because exam season is starting and, hey, priorities. I don’t want to start selling ad space or doing paid reviews because nobody likes them. So I want to bounce an Indifferent Ignorance Fund Idea off you guys. If it works, it could fund the entire site plus HootSuite possibly an upgrade or The Webways.

  • Etsy listing: JPEG file of a picture that says something witty like ‘I support independent bloggers who don’t want to sell advertising space’. You purchase and download the file, which you can print out or use as a display picture or whatever. It’s a kind of deposit for the super cool thing I make alongside because:
  • When you order, there’s option to ‘add a note’. You write in a word or phrase.
  • I take one of the A6 cards I use for greetings cards and handwrite a story or witty musing all over it (I will show you an example at the weekend) using the word or phrase as a prompt.
  • I send it to you in the post.

Because the listing will be a downloadable file, to cover the shipping of the card I’ll have to add £2 or £3 to the price I work out for the materials and for site-funding profit so the Post Office doesn’t take the lot. It shouldn’t cost more than £5 though, which is a) less than a two-coffee trip to Starbucks, b) less than most CDs, c) less than most books, d) oh you get the idea. Plus you get two pieces of art, one of which will be totally unique as well as the fuzzy joy of supporting a blog you know and love.

It’s not a big thing but it’s simple and personal. What do you reckon?

Update: here is an example.

The Ten O’Clock News: The Luckiest Nut in the World

14 Mar

I feel like I’m cheating you guys out of some pi-based news chat but my wrist is creaky so here is a video about peanuts and world debt instead:

Bear with me. I first saw this video three or four years ago in Geography and didn’t really get it (WTF trade liberalisation you stupid choir). Then in Politics this week we watched it again and I got it (trade liberalisation is an idea people had to help out those in poverty by giving states loans. It doesn’t work because it inevitably makes sure that states have to borrow more money and cut public spending which usually causes poverty which can cause war which always causes poverty. You brilliant choir).

I challenge you to not have “groundnuts replaced slavery as Senegal’s biggest industry” stuck in your head today… Explaining in more detail would mean more typing so please research it and/or leave a question and I shall endeavour to answer it! Please note I will be using a handful of pages of notes and a section of one undergrad textbook. Said section may have been used to squish a bug judging by the smears over the structural adjustment programme paragraph… metaphor?!

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