I’m kind of bummed out that no one’s really picked up on the irony of the WWI commemorations being immediately followed on news bulletins by info on the Gaza war… I’m also fed up with being bummed out so I’ve been watching Frank’s new video for intestine-filled kicks. Is it also ironic that Frank’s a vegetarian?
Anyway, I’ve been tapping away at commissions and etching out a legit portfolio site, which you can expect to see in roughly 3.7 million years or when I’ve got the cash to replace the standard colour palette with something I like. Business is a little slow at the moment – possibly because everyone’s on holiday, possibly because they’ve all been mesmerised by the Commonwealth Games and haven’t yet left their sofas.
[Insert imaginary GIF of a diver diving off the 10m board here. I thought it would look cool because their twisty dives are brilliant and hypnotic but there is not one fucking GIF of a single diver in action. So here is an entire YouTube video. Please go to 3 minutes 40 seconds to get whatever the fuck I was aiming to post about two hours ago before 20 tabs Googling Tom Daley drove me mad. The rest of the post was finished two hours ago. Two hours. I'm going to have nightmares about search engines.]
Anyway. I was thinking that it would be cool to do little flash fiction giveaways every week, to keep my mini story muscles flexed (my friend Jay has asked me to do 5k words on a prompt inspired by Cloud Atlas, a book I haven’t actually read. Expect it in one-to-two weeks!).
So if you fancy reading something shorter than a Vice article but longer than the phrases on coffee mugs, leave a comment with an idea or phrase and I’ll rustle something up!
Ew, I feel like a chef.
I also feel I should clarify that the twelve shots were individual, not all shoved in one pint glass. Happy IMCRD!
In case you were wondering what I want to be listening to on the beach, here are some videos that I can’t wait to get the CDs for!
frnkiero andthe cellabration weighted
I don’t care that it’s not got footage. Let’s flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Lily Allen URL Badman
I don’t care that this very site to which I owe two thirds of my writing career (‘career’). Lily is brilliant!
NME interview: Gerard Way On Solo Life After My Chemical Romance
I don’t care that there’s not a tune in sight. (I do care that I can’t go to Reading or Leeds. Take pictures at Leeds Jacki! Please!)
Yes/No Show with those guys from X Men
I first saw a GIFset of one of the questions on Tumblr, then the video popped up on the YouTube suggestions and it’s funnier with the accent. This probably isn’t available on CD. Whatever.
I’m not sure whether it’s heyfever, a cold, exhaustion or sheer utter relief that I’m not in school any more (or maybe all four) but my eyes hurt and I can’t really remember how to type so I decided that instead of the News we should share bullshit news stories that are almost too weird to believe.
Unfortunately after two years of minimal commenting I am aware that maybe two people will respond so here is a video with unlikely pertinence to the ISIS shit that’s currently going down which is actually too depressing for me to write about before my eyeballs fall out. So Tim can say some stuff!
If I remember correctly he follows up that sketch with the Pope Song… can’t remember if that has any baring on current events so I’m going to see the dogs and maybe complain about football.
I mean really, it’s a ball game. Even I know that you’re supposed to score goals and stuff…
Doing this on a superduper tight time limit so let’s just watch and enjoy – or not – these gems.
Thank you to Jacki for showing me this – it’s definitely made me think about public perception and domestic violence. I think it’s called the Kitty Genovese effect when nobody in a group helps an individual because they think someone else in the group should? I’m half-remembering Watchmen and last year’s psychology lessons, seriously, let me know if I’ve butchered science!
I haven’t heard the next one properly yet so if it’s bullshit and not just because of UKIP I do apologise, please let me know.
This isn’t news but I just saw it so let’s pretend it’s still Oscar season! Lupita for president of the world!
It’s kind of funny/depressing that white people in the UK are giving themselves cancer on sunbeds for a tan while tanned people are actually bleaching their skin. Citizens of the universe: the media is full of crap so ignore it and please wear sunscreen. Love, Francesca xxx
All we need is YouTube, ladies and gents. That’s it. Ever.
The Chainsmokers – #SELFIE PARODY (by The Midnight Beast)
If I ever get bored by The Midnight Beast, please quietly remind me of this video. Is it a parody of another song? I usually can’t tell (and I think I’m in these guys’ demographic, haha)…
Dumb Ways to Die
Maxim showed me this and I think it might have been a big deal a couple of years ago?
Woa. Plot twist. I have a feeling that this is like Canvas Bags in that I will hum it whenever I’m near a train.
Axis of Awesome – What Would Jesus Do?
This one counts as Religious Studies revision.
Last but not least…
10 Chick Flick cliches you will NOT see in He’s Just Not That Into You
Watching this is now on my “shit to do in summer” list. Someone on Tumblr noted that at no point do any of the guys pretend to be women, the realisation of which makes watching the whole thing a second time twice as joyous.