My Chemical Romance Lyrics Save Lives. But Not Test Results.

  What I hate about exams is that they sneak up on you. The date is so far away, then it’s next week, then in two days, then… Tomorrow.

  Unfortunately, this IAA is not an exam I can make up on the spot. With humanities, this is pretty easy – all you have to do is ramble about Harry Truman or longshore drift or Jesus. In Science, you have to know actual facts. Which can’t be altered depending on the day. I know approximately eight things about Chemistry:

1).Water is H2O

2. Butane is featured in an MCR song

3. So is kerosene/paraffin

4. So is ephedrine

5. So is neon

6. You can spell Bipolar using the chemical symbols for bismuth, polonium, iodine (if you pretend it’s an L) and argon

7. You can spell Bacon in various different ways

8. Magnesium powder mixed with sulphuric acid makes you cough.

  I think I shall go and watch House in the hope that the team encounter a child who’s been eating hydrochloric acid mixed with sodium hydroxide.

  Whatever that means.

Ruby’s Social Experiment to Go to Sleep, or, How to Become a Raving Lesbian in Six Steps

  Scene: Victoria  Sea View Hotel, Scarborough, Yorkshire

  Step 1) When a person knocks on the door, turn out light and pretend to be asleep before the door opens (there is no lock).

  Step 2) Sarah walks in and asks for her iPod back.

  Step 3) Within a second, two or three preps whose names are unknown (because they all look the same) appear at door and say, “Are you asleep already?” Then, “Oh, I thought you were naked in bed with each other and that’s why the lights were off.”

  Step 4) Stare dumbfounded at silhouetted preps until they go next door.

  Step 5) Sarah retrieves her iPod, complains about Melody’s Family Guy addiction and Tobi’s insistence on showing everyone her cleavage and leaves.

  Step 6) Five minutes later, there is a knock at the door. “We’re not naked,” Ruby assures the visitor, but regardless of the switched-on light, no one enters.

  Please note that only steps one and two were planned.

 

 

 

  Comment and subscribe please 😀

I Challenge You Not to Love This

  I want to hate it. I really want to. I had this whole theory going about Bob being locked in a cupboard and the last four years being a social experiment, but no.

  They just had to wait for Mikey’s hair to get long enough that they could dye it blonde.

  All I have to say is, look alive, sunshine…

  Let’s hope we survive to find out if 2019 is in fact post-apocalyptic.

I Need… AA?!

  Do you ever get that feeling where you’re right on the edge of something brilliant, but you’re too lazy to think of it?

  Part of me reckons I’ve got a touch of artistitis after a slight cold which I’ve given most people in the immediate vicinity, but there’s no diagnosis for the dreaded AA. So I need Mindless songs and someone to bounce ideas off. Good thing that next week I’m in Scarborough with school, learning about erosion, discordant coastlines and Flamborough, amongst Yorkshirians. Yorkists.

  Northerners.

  Actually, I’ve been listening to Green Day on YouTube while brainstorming blog ideas and banging out my BRAND NEW AWESOME Morningwood CD, Diamonds & Studs, and it’s given me a kick up the backside to play guitar again. Or at least invest in stickers.

  I think I’ll go and read bad, bad fan fiction on DeviantART now, but I’m learning about the automatic-update thing on here so there may be an amusing post up sometime next week, to amuse you all while I’m away wrestling Ruby off a cliff ledge.

  Wish me luck… I get the feeling she’s stronger than she looks.

Politics, Preachers and Pansy

  Today I got asked, while playing my guitar, if I played the guitar.

  No. Of course not.

  Here is a snippet of said guitar:

  I put on the Stig sticker to cover a chip, but there are quite a few scratches on her (him? It?) so I was thinking I’d buy some shiny letter stickers and print something cool on it (or him, or her). Like Frank and his first love, Pansy:

  If any of you have any ideas for what I could call my aforementioned instrument, or what I could plaster on it with stickers, comment. Actually, comment anyway.

  I’ve been doing some thinking and have decided to buy ‘Indifferent Ignorance’ as a domain name from WordPress. Which would make the url http://www.indifferentignorance.com. Which would be very cool indeed… Isobel agrees with me, but is ten dollars a year a waste of time and exchange rate? Let me know before I buy it for Christmas.

  In other news, school is still quite new so the lessons are interesting. For example, Ruby’s citizenship class prompted her to find this. I highly recommend it to anyone who isn’t sure who Hitler or Stalin were, or what democracy means.

  In History we’re doing the Cold War, and we had a debate today about whether it was America’s fault more or Russia’s. I sided with the USSR, because I don’t much like Yanks. The opposition pointed out that Stalin rigged the Eastern European elections to get the commies in… I pointed out that elections get rigged all the time, and that even in The Head of Democracy, the USA, people are bribed and threatened to vote for certain parties. Look at the Red Shirts in North and South Carolina after the civil war.

  I won the argument hands down, but apparently it wasn’t a very moral one. Good thing we all know truth isn’t always moral, eh?

  Another thing I thought was quite amusing today: Religious Studies. I like RS. I don’t believe in God so it’s all a good story from where I’m standing. We recovered prejudice and discrimination and there was a textbook question saying, “Many Christians have worked to end prejudice. What reasons do you think they would give for their involvement in such campaigns?” My initial reaction was Catholic guilt. If you believe the Bible word for word, you’re a homophobic sexist. But you also have to treat your neighbour as you would want to be treated. So helping disabled people get car parking spaces eases the hypocrisy a bit.

On One Trip, Pugsley and I Saw Eight Muse T-shirts. On Eight Different People.

  Technically I don’t become a whole year older until around ten thirty this evening, but I’m sitting in the back garden warming my feet on the chimnea. Since I’ve actually put this weekend’s photographs on the D drive already, I thought I’d be a total techie geek and upload them for you lovely people now. In the garden.

 

 

 

 

And yesterday’s trip with Cinderella and my family to London to see The Secret of Sherlock Holmes:

 

 

  In case I forget, thank you to everyone who forked out for exercise books, fineliners, Shakespeare compilations and toe rings for me. Best weekend ever.

This Is Probably the Only Blog Post You’ll Ever Read Linking My Chemical Romance and the 1947 Polish Elections

  It’s become something of tradition, I think, to blog around this week every year. Not because I lost someone on 9/11. I was only five years and three hundred and sixty-four days old when it happened, after all… Most people my age probably can’t even remember it. I know a girl at my school who thinks Osama Bin Laden is a member of the Beatles.

Osama bin Laden cartoon

Not because it’s Mikey Way’s thirtieth birthday today either.

  Or that it’s nearly nine years since a depressed twenty-something artist on his way to work saw the aforementioned disaster and formed a brilliant rock band with his aforementioned brother.

  But because, despite all the odds, I have survived another year. Amazing, innit? I haven’t been run over by a bus, set myself on fire during a Chemistry IAA, contracted cancer, crashed a car, slit one vein too many, been assassinated or fallen over attempting a roundhouse kick, cracking my head open on the dojo floor.

  I’m prepared to bet a few of you have considered killing me, setting me on fire or chucking me on the dojo floor. Thank you for refraining. You know that theory Charles Darwin came up with, the survival of the fittest? That if you’re unable to hunt or climb trees or run really fast from whatever’s trying to eat you, you’ll get cast out of the pack and eaten.

  I kind of cheated with the ‘survival’ part of the saying. It’s not my fault, okay? I didn’t ask to get born eleven weeks early. It just happened. I didn’t ask for Rochford and Southend hospitals to stick pipes in my side and kick-start my respiratory system either, but I’m grateful to whoever signed the pipe-insertion contract.

  Every year I reflect on the shithole that is September 11th and the excellence of My Chem, and wonder how something so good could be born out of something so bad. If 9/11 hadn’t happened, would MCR be doing what they do? I like to think that terrorist attacks notwithstanding, yeah.

  Let’s face it, Gerard wouldn’t have done art for the Cartoon Network forever, Ray was going to pick up the guitar again at some point, Mikey had to get over his stage fright one way or another and Frank… Well, Frank is one of those insane blokes who sort of manages to kill demon sharks wherever the van takes him.

       

  Same with Darwin’s theory of evolution. If I’d been born circa 1950, I’d be in a shoebox sized grave right now next to my mum, and Maxim would be an unexistent annoying little brother. But I was born in the nineties, dude, and there’s no point having a pretty comfortable privileged life and not doing anything but surfing Twitter. So regardless of my serious hatred of birthday celebrations and all the grief that accompanies it, I’m rather looking forward to Sunday.

  It ain’t over till the fat lady sings, according to the proverb. Well, it ain’t over till I say it’s over, so anyone still going on about medical science not being a good idea can go the same way as the homophobes and Qur’an burners. Down the fucking drain.

  When the USSR rigged the Polish vote in 1947 to ensure it became communist, Stalin wasn’t worried about cheating. He was worried that Germany might kill more Russians if there was another war, and he wanted Poland to protect them. I don’t like Labour, but Moustache Dictator Guy Two had the right idea.

The Zante Diaries 2010 Part One

The Zante Diaries 2010

  Also known as ‘An Idiot’s Guide to Zakynthos’ or ‘What the Other Kids are Missing. Poor Dudes’.

Sunday 25th July 2010

  It is our second full day here and already I am at my wits’ end with Maxim. He snores, he steals my bed, puts my pen lids up his nose, throws damp towels at me while I’m asleep and turns the air conditioning down so far I wake up with frozen sunburn.

  I guess I could always throw him in the overly-choppy sea, but it might upset whoever he’s been mysteriously texting.

  Not much has changed here since last September; the sign on top of the Neraida restaurant is still about to fall down, we’re handed useless leaflets at every restaurant on the high street (I’m saving them for Ruby) and there aren’t many Germans.

  The Blue Bay Hotel, where some of us stayed last year, as well as a few shops, is closed. There’s a bar along the beach making up for it by blaring bad club music at half a billion decibels for twenty-four hours.

  They also still sell frappes.

Monday 26th July 2010

World History According to Kostas, Maître d’ of Neraida Restaurant

 

  • 2000 years ago, the Greeks were building and making art, the Egyptians were constructing pyramids.
  • 1000 years ago, the English had horses, castles and were on crusades, searching for the Holy Grail.
  • 500 years ago, the Spanish and Portuguese had ships had ships and were sailing the world.

 

  • 200 years ago, the Germans were picking fruit from trees.

  I will assume the Germans are once again on par with the Turks.

  Fact of the Day: Greeks will build a church anywhere, out of anything. Including remains of a temple to Artemis.

Tuesday 27th July 2010

  I write you from the larger of Zante’s two water parks. This one is in Sarakinado.

  I am enjoying a beverage made by Nestlé known as Café Zero. I thought I was buying moccacino frappe, whatever that is, they (the parents) reckoned it was ice cream and it’s turned out to be a mix of the two. I broke the straw with the exertion of sucking out the slush and am waiting for it to melt.

  Anyway, I like water parks about as much as I like Disneyland, Peter Pan’s, Phantasialand, etc. In fact, the only two ways it could get any worse would be if a) I was forced to go on anything other than lazy river, b) Mickey Mouse appeared. In a swimsuit.

  There is also Lady Gaga and Alexandra Burke blaring from a nearby snack bar stereo. It seems Simon Cowell has cracked Greece, his only challenge now is to get Nikos and his mates to cover Leona Lewis instead of the live Greek stuff in Neraida.

  It’s not all bad – I’ve had an amusing time people watching and debating various tattoos and swimsuits on various people. My favourite design so far has been a flower pattern up a girl’s ribcage that she will regret when she has kids.

  There is a statue in the park of a transgender mermaid on steroids and I think she is trying to take ‘masculine women’ to a whole different level. Or the architect was sexually confused.

  It rained this morning. I am not making this up. We were in Zakynthos Town/City, walking up to the remains of a fortress after crêpes and there were blobs of rain. It is still cloudy now.

  You know I hate cats? How the only feline animal I tolerate is Elizabeth’s cat Marmite because she’d never speak to me if I didn’t? Well, I made a friend today. Granted, it was only there for the crepes, but it looked Egyptian. Not fat. Almost sweet.

  I’m going to photograph the mer-it.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

  ©Indifferent Ignorance 2010 This is not fiction. It may save your life one day.