Hello, Work Experience. You Make My Feet Hurt.

This is how I looked yesterday, except brunette:

This is how I look today, if you put his colours in the blonde bits:

If you can’t see it, that’s the point. It’s a stripe (because let’s face it, in Spots Vs Stripes in the hair world, stripes win).

Yes, my work experience is in my hairdresser’s.

 

Before You Watch This Slide Show, Turn Off Your Computer Sound (there’s a bit of a contrast in subject matter)

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That there was a nice little snippet of the Berlin trip a fortnight ago. I would have posted it earlier, but I kind of forgot to make the slide show. If you left the sound on, what did you think of the score? I didn’t realise it was on there… Oops. Sorry about the distinct lack of order, by the way, the whole programme was a bit fiddley.

Still, I have Photoshop now. On my shiny, new, so expensive-no-one-can-touch-it-but-me laptop. It’s got Internet Explorer 9. And fancy buttons I can’t work out. As usual.

Oh yeah, you just saw photographs of a concentration camp, a gas chamber, the remains of the Berlin Wall, some idiotic teenage girls who decided to try surfing on the join between two train carriages, the 1936 Olympic Stadium, the Brandenburg Gate, and some Soviet Union propaganda. Oh, and some Jewish kitchen art.

Look what I took a photo of in town today:

It turns out ‘franked mail’ or ‘franking’ are authorised forms of marking that qualify mail to be posted. Or something.

Should I make it the blog background or header?!

This One Isn’t a Five Minute Job, I Promise. There’s Links.

  I feel that it’s been far too long since I posted a blog with words in, not least words that require thought processes, so I thought I’d sit down and have a nice little chat with all you computer-people.

  How is lent coming, I hear you ask… To be honest, I’m a bit crap at it. I keep forgetting! In Berlin I hadn’t eaten a meal all day, so when we got to the hotel and someone offered me an Oreo I practically inhaled it. I also devoured a couple of Jaffa Cakes (sorry Rhiannon) but I don’t think they count as biscuits. I ate a chocolate biscuity caramel thing on Saturday… it was a Twix, basically, but not by Twix, so I just ate it without thinking.

  Twice.

  In other news, I made marmalade yesterday. Well, I say ‘I’ and ‘made’ using the terms loosely. Mum helped and we aren’t sure if it set or not, but I’d had enough of the pan overflowing every five minutes after an hour, so we decanted it. Except the amount of liquid seemed to have grown instead of evaporated away, so we ran out of jars pretty quick. I can’t post a photograph because my camera’s batteries went in Berlin and I can’t find the spare ones. So imagine this, times about twelve, in various containers:

  A few of you may have seen the new Planetary (GO!) video which came out yesterday. If you haven’t:

  A lot of people have been saying they’re disappointed by the lack of cinema, story, etc. This is stupid. My Chem are a band and last time I checked, bands play music. So enjoy the lights and dance! Speaking as someone who was at the Hammersmith Apollo when this song was debuted, the reaction to which was what made them release it as a single, the energy has been captured perfectly.

  While we’re on the subject of My Chem, MCRmy.com has been relaunched! Yay! Let’s all go play Killjoys and Draculoids with our masks on!

  Talking of relaunching… Is it just me, or does this look rather like the Indifferent Ignorance font? Just saying.

  Happy World Water Day.

Instead of Spending 10 Minutes Reading My Crap –

 – You can spend 10 minutes watching this!

Happy Wednesday.

  Apologies for the distinct lack of funny/Germany-related blogs, but I have had a pretty intense weekend and am still catching up on my beauty sleep. As you can tell, I need a lot of it:

 

  My camara ran out of juice a couple of times on the trip, so I need to raid some people’s Facebook pages and (this is a hint, guys) get some photos from my friends. You know what my email is. Once I’ve got enough stuff together I’ll work on a slide show or something – the only problem with this blog’s layout is the lack of space for photos. Either they’re too small to see or go in columns.

  Anyway, as we got to Berlin via aeroplane, have a looksie at some complaints made to Thomas Cook about holidays last season…

  • “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
  • “It’s lazy of the local shop keepers to close in the afternoons. I often need to buy things during the siesta times – this should be banned.”
  • “On my holiday to Goa, India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
  • “We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels,”
  • “The beach was too sandy.”
  • “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
  • “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
  • “We bought Ray Ban sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
  • “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
  • “There was no egg slicer in the apartment.”
  • “We went on holiday to Spain, and had a problem with the taxi drivers, as they were all Spanish…”
  • “The roads were uneven.”
  • “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, but it only took the Americans three hours to fly home.”
  • “I compared the size of our one bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment, and ours was significantly smaller.”
  • “The brochure stated ‘no hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers, will we be okay staying there?”
  • “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish, the food is Spanish, too many foreigners.”
  • “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
  • “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
  • “I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.”
  • “My fiancée and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
  • A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel ‘inadequate’.
  • A woman threatened to call the police after claiming that she had been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
  • A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping gravy at the time.

I have a few of my own to add:

  • Zakynthos, Greece: “The portions are too big. I am on a diet.”
  • Zakynthos: “The eggs are too strong.”

Because We Secretly Love to Know What People Type into Google.

  The highlight of my day was scrolling through the search engine terms that find Indifferent Ignorance just now and seeing one of them was ‘i want to read sexy conversation’. I also like ‘osama bin laden height’ and ‘frank iero moustache tattoo’. And ‘gerard way in prison’. And ‘friday sun tv film 25-12-2010 what was english film at 10 clock’. ‘gerard way without makeup’. ‘is shsg shut’. ‘italian jawline’. ‘extreme porn mardi gras’. I could go on, but I need to get my stuff together for Berlin.

  You know what? You can have the URL and decide for yourself what search is the funniest.

https://indifferentignorance.wordpress.com/wp-admin/index.php?page=stats&blog=10216007&view=searchterms&numdays=-1&summarize

  Second day without biscuits… I can feel myself dropping a dress size; I had to eat an apple earlier.

***EDIT***

  It transpires that you can only see the link if you’re logged into a WordPress account. So I’m going to leave you with that nice taster and print screen or something, when I’ve got time – so don’t hold your breath.

Eggs+Flour+Milk = Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday)/Extreme Guilt Over Appetite.

  Hello, pancake people. Who hasn’t had pancakes today? I was on (in?) Zone 6 earlier and a girl said that she detests pancakes so wasn’t going to eat tonight. I had two earlier and they were pretty nice. I would have taken a photo, but they were kind of there for a limited time only and trust me, you do not want to see any photographs of my digestive system.

  Anyone here giving up anything for lent? I think Sarah’s giving up chocolate, I remember one year my mum must have given up caffeine because all she drank for ages was herbal tea from fancy cups. I thought of something AWESOME to give up last night, just as I was drifting off to sleep… But I’ve forgotten it. Having spent all day wondering, I have concluded it must be swearing unnecessarily. Because – and I totally blame My Chem for this – I suffer a 0.0001 on the pain scale and curse. Then I get angry at the pain and curse some more.

  Natalie suggested I give up My Chem themselves itself, but that will happen in a world where the public doesn’t get caught up in the lives of ‘famous’ people they’ve never met, like Charlie Sheen (who as far as I can tell spends his entire life on TV with his porn star girlfriends). I briefly challenged Ruby to give up the Internet – we’ve both agreed our lives are far more productive without it – but forty days with no blog, Twitter or BBC News would drive me mental. I’ve also considered giving up saying ‘like’ unnecessarily, but I suspect that’s not something that’ll go away, like, overnight.

  So I have decided to give up biscuits. I know, it’s not a fancy thing – but I can do it. I can’t, for example, control all the shit that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis. You all know that.

  If you don’t, I clearly haven’t made enough of an impact on you.

  Anyway. Starting tomorrow, forty days without biscuits of any kind. Not even the ones in Berlin. If I need a biscuit, I’ll eat a sausage instead. Germany has a lot of sausages, right? It isn’t as though I’m giving up meat or anything. I think my parents would cry if another of their children became a vegetarian.

  Goodbye, sugary goodness. I will see you on the 17th April.

   

  I’m going to have to watch Gerard talk about giving up alcohol on Life on the Murder Scene to feel better.

One Chapter Ends and Another Begins… Or Maybe a Whole New Book.

  This week I posted my centenary blog and today it has been exactly one year since this. And this.

  I still remember how the pit of my stomach fell twenty floors when I read that… How could they do this to us? The MCRmy is a family and FAMILIES TELL EACH OTHER STUFF. I was so freaked out I think I punched a tree. I was so distracted by the thought of my favourite band ending before I’d even got to see them live that I forgot to be nervous for my first GCSE module. One year on, MCR have definitely not broken up. I have seen them live twice and, because everything comes full circle, had another module this morning.

  Looking back on it, I wasn’t just upset because Bob had left and they didn’t tell us (though that was part of their lives more directly than ours and they had – still have – the right to privacy). I was freaking out because I thought one of the only constants in my life was kaput. I’m pretty cynical when it comes to pretty much everything so I don’t trust an awful lot of people. I had put my trust in My Chem, and where the hell had it got me? A sore fist and some battered CDs.

  Since last March, the band has made a comeback that is, quite frankly, way cooler than Take That’s first show with Robbie in fifteen years. Their music has taken a slightly different direction, their hair colour has swapped ends of the spectrum and you are now expected to bring rayguns to shows. Danger Days has changed the way My Chemical Romance are portrayed, again.

 

 

  Thinking back to 23rd October and 12th February, two of the best days of my life because I got to see them live with some of the people who I love most in the world, I don’t think they would have happened if My Chem ended with Bob’s departure. We had to wait four years and deal with the fallout of the fourth-album-that-never-was-but-someday-could-be in order to get Danger Days. Looking at those pictures of the band over the last nine and-a-half years, some aspects of the band have never changed. Their determination to make art as different to their previous work as possible and their passion for what they do, for example.

  Which is why I’m making an effort to tell you this exactly one year on: sometimes you have to be patient and ride out the storm. Sometimes something you think will last forever will kind of crash and burn while you watch. Sometimes, when you look back, that’s the best thing that could possibly have happened. In retrospect, I could have said things or treated people differently over the last twelve months and then maybe some of the stuff I’ve had to deal with wouldn’t have been so difficult… I will bet my My-Chem-commemorating ring you could have too.

  But hey. Sit something out and perhaps it’ll turn into the most brilliant thing that’s ever happened.