The Ten O’Clock News: Send Us Your Consumer Habits for a Chance to Win $20! Or not…

Technology is not on my side this evening – don’t even get me started on my ability to lose remote controls – so I need you. Yep, you, hi. One of my morning pastimes is reading news headlines off my phone to my friends and occasionally reading aloud a story. Today I learnt I have a Lib Dem voice… Too bad the Lib Dems don’t, muahaha…

Anyway, my favourite stories are the ones that I can make a lot of noise about, like UKIP being stupid. I get to wave my hands about and everything, like I know what I’m taking about. So I’m wondering: what are your favourite news stories? The one that make you actually happy or the ones that make your blood boil or the ones about people being funny, like that Sainsbury’s cash machine?

I’m genuinely interested, and not just because I’m curious to see if it’s just me who loves getting angry at the TV… what are your news-y habits?

Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day everyone. I think we are all supposed to turn our lights out or something. As an advocate of long-term solutions I recommend regularly turning your lights off when you are not using them, as well as engaging in other resource-preserving activities, such as switching off your appliances at the plug, walking or cycling wherever practical and forsaking traditional materials for those with longer lifespans, such as canvas bags.

I’m told it’s quite simple…

The Six O’Clock News: Easter-Themed Post #2

I’m aware that the news hasn’t been brilliantly analytical lately and hopefully this will be remedied when school’s over and I have less on my plate. In the mean time:

The BBC’s got this new interactive-education-scroll-y thing called iWonder, and this one explains the history of passion plays, which range from thanks to God for having not got the Plague to everybody’s favourite musical (I’m wearing my JCS top and cross earrings today. Part of me wants to start a fashion blog based around dressing for holidays or in the spirit of fictional characters). Fun fact: John the Evangelist wrote that Jesus died on Passover because he saw Jesus as the passover lamb for all people/believers. Cool huh? Plus the town of Oberammergau, which apparently puts on a passion play a bit like how the Scots put on New Year, has NATO School.

A school. Which teaches all things NATO. Turns out uni isn’t the only option!

The iWonder thinggy also has a piece explaining why Easter is never on the same day… basically if Church officials can argue over something then they will.

I just realised that there will always be a Six O’Clock News on Good Friday. Bugger, I’ll have to find actual Easter-related news next year. Ukraine’s not got a lot in common with the holiday and neither do east Asian vehicle disasters. Other than the weather – it’ll rain, surprise! – and TV – there will be programmes, surprise! – there aren’t many Easter-specific bulletins. Which I guess is kind of a relief given that the festival is two thousand years old?

Here is my favourite Easter art:

'Christ on the Cross' by Diego Velazquez, found integratedcatholiclife.org
‘Christ on the Cross’ by Diego Velazquez, found integratedcatholiclife.org. I always get Velaquez confused with Jhohen Vasquez, who makes MSI videos. That could be why last year’s RS results weren’t great.

Here is my second-favourite piece, which was painted for a monastery hospital. Jesus has the same illness as the one the hospital treated, ergotism, to make the patients feel better:

The Isenheim Altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald, found
The Isenheim Altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald, found venetianred.wordpress.com. Can’t remember who the dude with the book is supposed to be but he cracks me up. Is he doing a Beyoncé dance?

Happy Easter!

Easter-Themed Post #1 (unless I get bored or forget again)

Last week I had two posts that almost got published… part of me wants to try to beat it this week but maybe it’s not worth the lack of effort.

That said, I’ve been going through a phase lately where I sit down to write and cannot think of one single thing to say that a) I haven’t already said, b) is halfway interesting to write and c)  is halfway interesting to read. I’ve decided that it definitely is a phase. I WILL COME UP WITH INTERESTING PROSE. (If you exist, muses, please drop me a line.) In the mean time, who else wants to punch singing fruit in the face?

Jesus Christ at least Veggie Tales has a purpose. I think it’s supposed to have a Christian message or something, haha (remember the time I watched it in RS? Simpler times, when I thought it was okay to slice up Ruby’s art and readers left messages so I knew who they were. Hint hint).

Speaking of which, can anyone explain why this cartoon involves palm trees, shrubs and green hills in the Middle East?

Genuine question: if you’re going to educate children about the Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection – especially with the Christian perspective of ensuring they believe it – surely the first thing you want to get right is the basic setting?

The Six O’Clock News: Opinion Poll-ish

The news I was planning on doing doesn’t exist, unless Google’s eaten it (someone wrote to JK Rowling saying she wasn’t letting authors get published by publishing so many books?) so this was going to be a cop out until I remembered that slow news days happen in actual newsrooms too!

Do you guys remember when Harry was eavesdropping on the news in The Order of the Phoenix and there was an article about a waterskiing budgie?

Well, I want to know the most absurd news broadcast you’ve ever heard, discounting an April’s Fool. My current favourite is the author-yelling-at-Rowling one, if it’s real…but I also endorse anything that makes Have I Got News for You; the other week there was a mention of a cash machine placed about fifteen inches from the ground. Perfect for Richard Osman jokes, but it begs two questions:

  • Is something like that actually worth reporting on when there are things like human rights abuses occurring daily with relatively little media attention on them?
  • What, if you had the power, would you consider and broadcast as news?

The Six O’Clock News: Documentary Day #1

I can’t type with my right hand because I’ve done three essays this week and it’s achy and I can’t type with my left hand because I cut my index finger so I am tapping this out using three fingers and a thumb. Dexterity is my word of the day… and writing coherently isn’t going to happen, so here is a documentary that was on BBC Three last week.

They’re shutting down BBC Three for television and moving it to the Internet because its shit programmes put people off its great ones (officially: it’s quite expensive). James Cordon has a point about consumers’ habits changing, but it worries me a bit that if the channel goes, less people will see things like this:

Did I want an excuse to put ‘boobies’ in the tag box? Yes. (I’m secretly a six-year-old when it comes to laughing at swears. Haha ‘swears’.) Was it news that twenty-somethings can get cancer and die? Yep, and I can count six people I personally know who have or had had cancer. So cancer isn’t news but it still manages to continue to reach new levels of shittiness… hopefully if more shows like this get broadcast, maybe I’ll get to do a post about cancer-curing treatments in future?

I actually can’t type like this without wanting to kill my computer so ‘documentary day’ may become a thing for the next time I screw up my hand(s). Anyone have any suggestions?

 

April Fools Are for Sissies. Here Are Some Words Instead.

It’s the first of the month and it’s sunny, which I think means that a spot of spring cleaning is in order…

The Webways is hiring a social media administrator to help out with running the place. If you like MCR and you have an hour or two a week to spare, please please apply. It pains me to say it, but I can’t run it by myself any more. I know, I thought I’m infallible too. But it turns out I’m not, I’m actually really busy – and if any of my projects are going to be as great as they can be, I have to start delegating or I’ll loose my mind brilliant standards more sleep. Please no, I have exams soon.

Speaking of exams, a few months ago I was chatting to Ellen and Isobel about stuff I could make that hasn’t been made but should have been, and between us we came up with this:

Weekly Revision Timetable by Francesca Burke

I Photoshopped it my very own self and it works. No more shitty frills and stupid font, no more space that’s taken up by crap executives think you need… just a revision timetable (or general planner, now I think of it) that lets you plan your revision. Did I mention it’s available here for a fraction of the price of a notebook you’ll never use? All proceeds go toward funding this place and The Webways, of course, which reminds me:

I was being serious about this funding idea. I don’t have a lot of spare cash and I really, really don’t want to sell advertising space. I know I don’t blog as much as I used to – hi again exams – and I know that nobody likes posting comments or spending more than 0.5 seconds on a webpage these days, but I do quite love this site. I have high hopes for her, in the same way one has high hopes that their pets will learn to swim.

From corgianddachshund.tumblr.com
From corgianddachshund.tumblr.com

I may or may not be building a collection of animal images and GIFs for use in every available post. Anyway, pleaseplease let me know if you’re into the idea of a writing/art-money exchange, or if you have any other suggestions. (Personally I would like an Indifferent Ignorance-coloured bobble hat and Webways mug and coaster but I don’t think there’s a market for either. Unless there is. I don’t know unless you tell me. Damnit these brackets need to end soon.)