The Six O’Clock News: Smart Videos #2

Doing this on a superduper tight time limit so let’s just watch and enjoy – or not – these gems.

Thank you to Jacki for showing me this – it’s definitely made me think about public perception and domestic violence. I think it’s called the Kitty Genovese effect when nobody in a group helps an individual because they think someone else in the group should? I’m half-remembering Watchmen and last year’s psychology lessons, seriously, let me know if I’ve butchered science!

I haven’t heard the next one properly yet so if it’s bullshit and not just because of UKIP I do apologise, please let me know.

 

This isn’t news but I just saw it so let’s pretend it’s still Oscar season! Lupita for president of the world!

It’s kind of funny/depressing that white people in the UK are giving themselves cancer on sunbeds for a tan while tanned people are actually bleaching their skin. Citizens of the universe: the media is full of crap so ignore it and please wear sunscreen. Love, Francesca xxx

George GIFs and G. Way’s Festival Listing

Darlings,

Half term has flown by, which is weird because I am technically no longer at school. Except I have seven exams to do before I don’t actually have to go back, so I feel like I’m in stasis.

From georgeslays.tumblr.com
From georgeslays.tumblr.com

Speaking of ‘my people’… I’ve opened up a Society6 shop, as you can tell from that wonderful imposing link in the sidebar. There’s only fan art up at the moment but I’ve been sketching some ideas and a new life goal is to create a collection of coffee mugs. The big difference between Society6 and Etsy is that Society6 prints everything and delivers it to you from the USA, as opposed to me printing it and sending it from a post office in Essex. Both give me the same amount of profit though – of the $15 Society6 charges for a mini print of something pretty, I get $2.42, which Google tells me is about a quarter of the price of a cinema ticket.

Actually I’m lying. I set the price for basic prints and I started at $15 because the site’s base price is $12. Still, it means I don’t have to physically print and post everything – although of course I will if you buy on Etsy. Ah, artwork and the things people do for promotion.

Speaking of promotion, why is Gerard’s name half way down the Reading and Leeds poster? Does nobody remember last time? Maybe they remember the time before… Whatever. My new new life goal is to see G at Reading. One ticket is the equivalent of 75 mini posters, assuming the exchange rate doesn’t change…go on, snowflakes. I’ll live blog the whole experience!

Okayfine. I’ll live blog the BBC Three stream, assuming it’s still going then.

The Six O’Clock News: Pharrell Williams Makes People Sad. :(

Since yesterday’s post involved dancing Tim and poetry, this one’s short.

I haven’t followed this story as much as I ought to, considering it’s an excellent case study for Politics, but can we please take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of the Iranian Happy Dance Prison Fiasco? (I don’t think they called it that.) I actually can’t find the original tribute amongst the plethora of news clips, although there are a few others from different states that I would watch if I wasn’t unsure as to whether I really like Happy or want to punch it… Anyway, the Iranian authorities considered the dancing to be “vulgar” and said they “hurt public chastity”. I mean come on, the dancing wasn’t that bad…

Still. It’s interesting to see what different societies – or authorities – think is/isn’t appropriate. Wasn’t Frankie Goes to Hollywood banned by the BBC ages ago? I think a few rock ‘n’ roll bands have been too – I’m sure MCR was banned from playing in a car park after it provided tour space back in the day – and yet Blurred Lines is still played on radio in public spaces. Yuck.

So, question of the week: if you could ban bullshit pop culture, what would it be and why and conversely, is there anything that’s been restricted that you think shouldn’t have been?

Let’s pretend it’s a democratic and scientific study!

A Poem About Leaving School

I have graced the hallways of my school for seven entire years, roughly the equivalent of the time it takes to get to the front of a queue in the post office. Typically students bring in notebooks into which other students write farewell messages of good luck and sappy happiness. I forgot to get a notebook so I’m writing this instead, which is way more impressive because it’s in the public domain forever.

So, what was happening seven years ago?

  • Gordon Brown was prime minister and students could attend university without first selling their organs
  • Jimmy Saville was an okay dude
  • North Africa was full of peaceful, dictatorial regimes
  • Benedict Cumberbatch could go out in public
  • People used MySpace
  • Leonardo DiCaprio was waiting to win an Oscar

Well, I never said the world had changed beyond all recognition.

But still. Seven years. Part of me thinks about leaving school and is like this:

from lisce.tumblr.com
from lisce.tumblr.com

Part of me feels like this:

Found... somewhere on Tumblr
Found… somewhere on Tumblr

Since I’m a writer, blah blah blah, I thought I’d write a poem about my time in school.

  • A is for ageing, which we have all done
  • B is for bonkers, which we have all become
  • C stands for lots of coffee… enough said!
  • D is Sunday night and that sudden feeling of dread
  • E stands for examinations, which make us want to cry
  • F are the fuckin’ idiots we’ve all had to put up with in class at least once who make us want to die
  • G is General Studies, ironically my best subject
  • H stands for homework, which you shouldn’t try in public
  • “I is not in ‘team’!” which we learnt in PE
  • J are the in-jokes that make strangers want to flee
  • K finishes ‘okay’ which some days you are not
  • L is in ‘lower school’ when you thought sixth formers were hot
  • M is Monday assemblies, the only thing the entire year thinks is shit
  • N are the notices which make the assemblies such a hit
  • O is organisation which… wait, I’ve lost my notes
  • P is for school pond, where there really should be boats
  • Q is in ‘quiet’ which the quiet study room never has been
  • R is in ‘year seven’ when we were really keen
  • S starts off ‘sleep’ which we very rarely do
  • T are the teachers who are actually humans too
  • U are the uniform rules that have haunted us for years
  • V is the vast amount of bullshit we’ve sometimes put up with from peers
  • W is for websites used to hastily gather information
  • X is in the phrase “surely that doesn’t need another explanation?”
  • Y is for “WHY ME, GOD?” a frequently-asked school-based question
  • Z is for zoo, the place to which we might actually return with begrudging joy when it’s time for a reunion.

And by zoo I mean secondary school. Please never accuse me of lacking in appreciation for the poetic arts, ladies and gentlemen. It rhymed.

Anyway, happy end-of-school! (Unless it isn’t the end of school for you, in which case happy Thursday.)

The Ten O’Clock News: Rinse & Repeat

I have one of those headaches that makes one’s eyeballs rattle around one’s skull, so this will be quick so I can go and sip a litre of water and resolve to plan the News better in future. Again

is it just me or is there a lot of very stupid stuff going on in the media at the moment? I’ve been busy and ill all week so it feels like ten years since Eurovision (I was going to do this about MEPs and maybe the EU) but in the meantime I swear every time I turn on the news – which is a lot because the rolling news channels are great for snoozing – there’s another old TV dude on trial for peadophilia, or another terrorist attack in Africa and another piece of ‘entertainment news’ that is basically rich people acting exactly the same way as non-rich people except with a camera in the room.

just read everything back and because I’m using the browser on my iPad to do this, I can’t edit it well – I apologise for the rubbish grammar and will fix it when I can. Anyway, my point is: are there ‘patterns’ of news and cycles of what is or isn’t broadcast – or are events cyclical? Heard someone say this week that if that Spanish teacher hadn’t been stabbed, there would probably be no coverage of the students who tried to slip their teacher bleach. (Again, links are hard. Google, darling snowflakes!) The Nigerian girls’ kidnap had appalingly little coverage until the US government noticed what was happening and in the mean time, the Malaysian plane disappearance and the South Korean ferry disaster are minor stories now. Is his because something newer has occurred or because if everybody was exposed to all the news all the time we would always be distracted by it? Is it right that stories are so easy to forget?

just tried the spellcheck and although I can see my mistakes I can’t fix them. Gah, I’ll quit while I’m ahead. If any of what I’ve written has made sense – or even if it hasn’t – let me know what you think!

 

The Eleven O’Clock News: Eurovision Explained

So, The Economist analysed Eurovision, which makes it news (as if this wasn’t already).

Actually I just searched for more news and it turns out this is the best I can find… That’s Chloe’s Tumblr, by the way, please leave a message saying hi. The thing is, on Monday everyone will pretend that Eurovision doesn’t exist – except the country that wins, which has 365 days to find a room suitable for 8000 cans of hairspray, 10000 drunk dudes and some flags – so I’ve run out of things to say, so here is a handy guide for everybody who doesn’t understand Eurovision.

Eurovision Explained 

  • Established 1956 (yep, it’s almost as old as the EU. I wonder which is more effective at uniting Europe and making UKIP uncomfortable?)
  • It’s basically the Olympics meets a montage of every musical you’ve ever heard meets queer pride meets The X Factor
  • “Nil points” means “no points” which is what the UK tends to get because the UK is like Loki but with worse hair (fun for a bit but nobody wants to play with us for long based on historical events and distinct lack of overall idealogical cohesion)
  • For one half of the competition Europeans express feelings that are either “YEAHHH THIS COUNTRY THAT I’VE NEVER HEARD OF HAS THE BEST SENSE OF HUMOUR/COSTUMES/LEVEL OF SCHIZOPHRENIC DANCING AYYY I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!” or “Well I don’t think that’s appropriate what is society coming to?” For the other half we go “YEAHHH WE GOT POINTS FROM A COUNTRY WE ONCE WENT TO WAR WITH!!! WAIT THAT COUNTRY WE WERE ONCE ALLIED WITH GAVE US FEWER POINTS THAN WE DESERVE! WE VOTED FOR THEM, DAMNIT!”
  • There is an unspoken agreement that Eurovision is the one global forum in which the USA cannot dominate; both because it is geographically forbidden and even if it wasn’t, no one would put up with its hard power shitick. Eurovision is all about the sparkles and faintly embarrassing music, not who is ‘the best’

If you have any other questions, just look on social media tomorrow evening.

Moving Image Appreciation Post #6

All we need is YouTube, ladies and gents. That’s it. Ever.

The Chainsmokers – #SELFIE PARODY (by The Midnight Beast)

If I ever get bored by The Midnight Beast, please quietly remind me of this video. Is it a parody of another song? I usually can’t tell (and I think I’m in these guys’ demographic, haha)…

Dumb Ways to Die

Maxim showed me this and I think it might have been a big deal a couple of years ago? 

Woa. Plot twist. I have a feeling that this is like Canvas Bags in that I will hum it whenever I’m near a train.

Axis of Awesome – What Would Jesus Do?

This one counts as Religious Studies revision.

Last but not least…

10 Chick Flick cliches you will NOT see in He’s Just Not That Into You

Watching this is now on my “shit to do in summer” list. Someone on Tumblr noted that at no point do any of the guys pretend to be women, the realisation of which makes watching the whole thing a second time twice as joyous.

The Ten O’Clock News: Living Below the Line

I never thought I’d do the news about an article on Glamour magazine’s website, but I also thought this pose was exclusive to professional gymnasts, so if you’ve got proof UKIP’s not full of shit now would be a good time to let me know. (Please don’t let me try that outside of my Pilates class.)

Anyway.

Amanda Abbington is Living Below the Line

You guys know how during Comic Relief we sit there eating ice cream trying not to cry at all the little children living in sheds and trying to imagine what it’s like having virtually nothing to eat? Well, an organisation called Live Below the Line does a thing where people get sponsored to live, food-wise, on £1 a day for five days, so that we can start to imagine what  it’s like to live in abject poverty. Amanda Abbington’s done it and has written about it on the Glamour website (beware the distracting scroll-y thing).

To balance out all the procrastinating I did reading about Hilary Duff’s marriage, here are some fun facts about poverty! All info is from my Politics course so I don’t have sources, although I’m sure my teachers would be flattered if you demanded that I asked them to provide sources.

  • More people have access to a mobile phone than have access to a toilet 
  • It’s estimated that a country takes thirty years after a civil war to reach the level of prosperity that it held before the war
  • People tend to disagree over exactly how many people are ‘in poverty’ because if the figure sounds too high to tackle, schemes to eradicate it won’t take off. That said, poverty is relative; there are rich people in central Africa and people who can’t afford to eat in the USA. In 2005 it was estimated that about 20% of the world’s population was in poverty
  • Expanding on that: India’s effing huge general election is on at the moment and one quarter of the electorate is illiterate. Please note that India has a nuclear programme, a space programme and its own version of Hollywood
  • There is actually enough resources for everyone to have access. Or there would be if richer people were willing to share…

Okay I’m now mildly depressed and quite guilty about the amount I eat. I might try the Below the Line thing when school’s finished – has anyone else ever done it or something similar? I mean, the last time I did anything remotely selfless and food-related was when I gave up biscuits for Lent back when a) biscuits didn’t make me puke and b) I thought taking part in Lent made me a cool atheist… 

Those were the days, huh. They were also the days I could write a post without screwing with the colour scheme, so apologies if I made anyone’s eyes go funny!