Shit I Have Learnt in 2015

So it’s that time of year when round ups are fashionable, so I decided to make a brief list of things I learnt this year. 2015 has been full of peril, danger and mayhem, if by peril you mean work, danger you mean public transport and mayhem you mean walking your dogs. Some of what I’ve learnt might be useful, so I wrote it down.

  • The Liverpool Street line is way, way less comfortable than the Fenchurch Street line, but passing the Olympic Park on your way into work gives one a sense that anything is possible. Namely building a fucking great red tower thing, calling it art and getting away with it.
  • Ignoring the YA section when you realised you disliked Twilight was a bad move. You should always read YA. YA is better than A. There is more magic, less awful sex scenes and way more interesting story lines.
  • It is completely okay to stop doing something you used to enjoy doing. Like blogging. It is also okay to start it again and do whatever you want with it. Even if you don’t know what that is.
  • Always have an emergency funds bank account.
  • No one who passed their driving test more than five years ago understands how to signal at a roundabout. There is a special place in hell for these people.
  • It is totally okay to reuse bubble bags.
  • That guy in that TV show is way better looking in the TV show than he was in that movie.
  • People who earn money from their blog and social media presence have either done a deal with the devil or have reserves of strength in their soul that I can only imagine. PR-friendly bloggers, you have my unwavering respect and my constant, begrudging, irritation. Usually my irritation. Keep it up you jammy fuckers.
  • Screenplays do not contain magic dust that turned a Word document into a script. You can get a computer to do that.
  • Also, screenplays still look like they did in 1920 because the font size and typeface (Courier, 12) equal a page per minute.
  • Never leave a job while your internship(s) is unpaid. Find a way to do both.
  • Your 2 ft dog can take up more room on your bed than you can. Also, he snores more than you.
  • When you think racist people can’t get any more racist, you should show them footage of Syrian refugees.
  • Louis from One Direction is not the guy in One Direction I thought he was. He is the other guy, who I ignored until I noticed I quite liked his face. I checked and I am still unsure about their music.
  • Mitt Romney was not the worst Republican candidate to ever run for president.
  • Never go to Westfield shopping centre on Black Friday.

I may add to this. What have you lot learnt?

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