Guess who ate an entire giant Cadbury bar in one sitting today?

YES CORRECT ME. I’m quite good at not eating while I work unless I’m editing, in which case I am basically a food bin. On the plus side, I finished the latest draft of a chunk of dragonnovel and finally got around to naming a couple of characters, so I think on balance everything works out. Except my IBS, ha.

Who else has been sitting out in the garden pretending to be a lady of leisure? If it’s gone 4pm and the sun’s out, I may as well change my email auto-reply to ‘I did get your message but I’ve got better things to do than respond. I mean, it might snow tomorrow.’

The Mini is still getting surgery, and I am tootling around in a Ford Focus if I can’t absolutely walk somewhere. I think when the Mini gets back we’re going to have to have a serious talk about what we expect from one another. In the last six months I have procured a battery, three lights and a set of jump leads, and that’s before the bill comes in for the latest round of fixes. I am starting to wonder if I should have bought something more reliable, like a tank.

I did have something more substantial to write about, but all the sun and chocolate has melted my brain so I’m going to go and do some star jumps or something. Is April too early to start drinking iced coffee?

Cars, Kat Slater’s Cleaning & Pyjamas

Evening. I am sitting to write this at 9:11pm, in my pyjamas. I’ve been meaning to sit down to post for a couple of days, but I’ve accidentally had the most stressful week of 2018 so far and got sidetracked. The Mini went in for surgery yesterday for something called a faulty ABS pump, and I have been given a Ford Focus in the mean time. I have a feeling that Ford Focuses are my automotive equivalent of a beige sofa.

Because I had cars on my mind, after I took the Mini in I rang my insurance company to see if I could get a better price for my insurance (the ABS fix and accompanying minor fixes are going to eat all my savings, so every little helps and all that). They couldn’t do me a deal, but mid-conversation it transpired that there’s been a minor – okay, major – administrative error on my documents for months that might, technically, have invalidated the entire policy. Oops. When I asked about updating it, I got quoted an extra hundred quid a month on my bill and suffered a minor heart attack. Anyway, a friendzied half an hour on Go Compare later, I had a brand new policy with the correct details that was cheaper than the one I had to start with so I suppose that’s all right then, innit. The English bureaucrat in me spent all day tempted to write a letter to my old insurers about their shitty admin (I have been on the phone to them FOUR TIMES in the last year, and they’ve asked the same questions all four times). The shitty millennial in me wanted to transcribe the entire drama into a Facebook post and set up a GoFundMe to recover my savings.

In the end I ate ice cream and had a bath.

I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this, because car insurance is not a sexy subject and I’m mortified that I didn’t pick up on the admin fuck up myself. I was reading a friend from school’s blog post about self esteem in blogging recently (Eva is a fashion blogger. I went to school with a fashion blogger! We were in the same Religious Studies class, ha) and although I am clearly not in fashion, it got me thinking about the ‘type’ of blogger I am. I’ve spent the last four or five years trying to monetise this site, with rules about writing proper topics at my proper desk in my proper clothes, but here I am at 9:30pm in my pyjamas. I’m in front of the telly watching Kat Slater start a cleaning business. So I reckon that, despite all attempts to become an authority blogger or a hobby blogger or a purple hair-enthusiast blogger, Indifferent Ignorance has always been a journal. So here I am, telling all six of you about car insurance.

OH MY TWENTIES ARE EXCITING.

The Beginner’s Guide to Working from Home

Try as I might, I can’t seem to stop being a freelancer. Sometimes I go to an office, but usually I don’t, especially now I’m getting into the final stages of my Open Uni course and working on dragonnovel. I’ve learnt a lot during my time of commuting down a set of stairs or across my bedroom to my desk, and I thought it high time I share some tricks of the trade.

Your wardrobe should be work-appropriate

For example, your trousers should be elasticated to account for all the caffeine you’re drinking and all the angry snacking that takes place after a less than fruitful Skype call. Matching socks can help one focus on the day’s tasks, but as long as they’re clean you’ll be able to sit at your desk with pride. Just kidding – if you’ve cleaned your teeth today, you’re already 99% set for work!

Sometimes working from home does require you to leave the house – perhaps in search of your sanity, which you fear you may have lost underneath paperwork. In these situations, I recommend you consult WikiHow to re-learn what deodorant is. For those days when you’ve got people over, or have an emergency video chat, I recommend you keep a couple of unstained outfits at the back of your wardrobe. Remember, only the parts of you that are visible need to look like you’ve got a self care routine.

 

I wish I could tell you where I found these gifs, but my computer has eaten that information. It was in 2015?

Your workstation should be organised

Even the most organised work from home-er has a tendancy to multitask, especially if you’ve accidentally overbooked yourself, so you need to ensure that your paperwork, computer and faintly stained coffee mugs are well-organised. I find that keeping stationery in odd places, like the key tray by the front door, or in my dressing gown pocket, helps make home feel more like an office, and there’s always the old trick of piling all your papers onto one tiny allocated space so you look far more official than you actually are.

You need several planners

One or two, at least. Probably a wall calendar. They contain nothing but deadlines because you last saw your friends on Halloween 2016, but they’re a nice reminder that the end of the tax year is coming up and you’re not as rich as you thought you would be by now.

Invest in quality headphones

Not to block out your neighbours! Not to listen to interesting podcasts while you work! Your headphones are there for when your family members come home and you’ve accidentally read Atlas Obscura all day so you have to catch up during the evening and need to look focused.

Disconnect your wifi

So you can get lots done with no distractions! Wait, you need the internet to work from home in the first place? Hm. Well. If I ever work out a happy medium, I’ll let you know, but I spent a full thirty seconds this afternoon watching a Facebook video of someone’s pet fox zoom around their living room. You should probably just go and work in a coffee shop or something. Or a library.

Or an office.