I’m never washing again and you shouldn’t either.

I just read an article about vagina steaming and I cannot unread it, so here you go. I understand the theory – I am a big fan of sticking my face over a bowl of hot water when I’ve got a cold – but I feel like a lot of people need to have a conversation with themselves about differing areas of skin on the human body. As in, one of those things is not like the other so don’t fucking steam it.

I had something to actually write about earlier, and I can’t even remember what it was. Climate change, I think. But I can’t form coherent thoughts any more because what on earth possesses people to steam their vaginas???

I have to think about something else. Um. I have an mild infection in one of my wisdom teeth. If left alone, I imagine the infected tooth probably looks a lot like a scalded vagina. GOD I CAN’T STOP.

It’s now been 15 minutes.

Send help.

I mean how do you even go to A&E with that sort of complaint? ‘Um yeah hi I decided to indulge in alternative medicine and I appear to have caused such severe damage I couldn’t sit down properly to drive here.’ ‘Yes ma’am don’t worry, take a seat.’ ‘No I really can’t.’

Honestly. People.

Cinderella uggghhh GIF

I’m going to have a bath. Oh god. Maybe not.

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6 thoughts on “I’m never washing again and you shouldn’t either.

  1. Jacki! How are you??? I feel like it’s been forever.

    I hadn’t considered that there is, in fact, an anatomical difference between vagina steaming and vulva steaming. What a world we live in. I had also forgotten the ice lolly thing until just now, and I’m not sure how I feel about being reminded.

    Wait. No, I do know.

    Yuck.

    Like

    1. Hahaha. The ice lolly thing was bizarre!! Anyone who has grabbed a handful of ice and felt it stick to their hand would know straight off that sticking anything frozen into any damp orifice means freezer burn and likely getting stuck to the lolly. Do people not have common sense?!?!

      But yes – it’s been a while since i’ve commented hahaha. I read as many of your posts as I can, but I don’t always have time to respond as fully as I would have to. It’s like a compulsion – I can’t just write a few words! I love words. So I have to fully express my reaction to your post, do it justice – it deserves that at least!
      I think this one resonated as I’d read the article earlier, so i already knew there was a reaction I needed to state.

      I just wonder what kind of a society we’re becoming – that people have to be told not to stick lollies up themselves, and not to get too close to the bowl when steaming the lady-parts. What happened to just knowing stuff? It’s like when the weather is hot and there’s a plethora of fb posts telling us that if the pavement is hot to the touch, not to take a dog for a walk. Do people not know this anyway? Do we need to be told how to do everything? Have we lost the ability to just think for ourselves?

      I need to stop. I’m getting into soapbox mode. Or I’m just getting old and crotchety!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh god I hadn’t even thought about the warm/damp/cold sticking thing. Ewwwww.

        I can’t judge about long comments, although I am on occasion partial to a single emoji for impact. It has to be a case of right place, right time though.

        If you need to be told to mind your dog’s feet in hot weather, you shouldn’t have a dog. Definitely not an old and crochety thing (well it could be, I suppose) because PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID.

        Like

  2. I read that very same article earlier this evening!! I pondered. Yes, facial steaming … opens up the pores, helps draw out toxins, clears the sinuses … but vag steaming? why? how?
    For starters, technically, the most that would be accomplished by squatting over a steaming bowl of water is a par-boiled vulva. Actually steaming the vag is gonna require considerable muscle control and a directed jet of steam as steam isn’t gonna be inclined to target itself up an internal “tunnel” (for want of a better word!!).
    But as it’s not something I’m EVER gonna do, I couldn’t categorically state that steamed vag isn’t possible.
    However, my wealth of experience in the “infected tooth” department, does, I hope, qualify me to disagree with the contention that an infected tooth looks like steamed vag. Though, to be fair, just cos mine never looked like that (or what i imagine it to look like – not that I want to imagine it!!) … perhaps your teeth bear a passing similarity to it!
    Getting back to the steamed vag trend (if it is such a thing, a trend, or maybe it was just a slow news day) … it wasn’t all that long ago there were stories about people using ice lollies to chill their lady-parts.
    What is going on???
    Can we not just use them for the purposes intended? Why are we chilling them and heating them?
    People are strange!
    People, not just women. I’m sure men do equally stupid things with their dangly bits!!

    Liked by 1 person

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