Go away now please January, you’re that guest that doesn’t get when it’s polite to leave.

I’ve got a heart monitor on this week, and I had to make a note on my little diary that yesterday morning I wasn’t having an episode or doing exercise, I read that Nicholas Parsons had died. Good thing I wasn’t wearing one in 2016 or I’d have been admitted.

How is everyone this week? I’m fine, except for the minor inconvenience of a heart monitor and the potentially major inconvenience of bad results from said monitor. I’ve been having heart palpitations, which are not that big of a deal unless they are. I suppose the results are something to look forward to? Best case scenario, it’s a bit of stress and I have the excuse to book many, many holidays. Worst case scenario, I might be writing to you all using fun medical acronyms and asking for advice on how to wear a hospital gown properly.

Just kidding. There’s no way to wear one of those things with dignity.

Anyway, it is fair to say I am ready for January to finish. I don’t object to 31 day months per se, but January always seems to be double that. It’s been made longer by last Friday’s MCR Ticket Day, which became No MCR Tickets Day. But tomorrow could well be MCR Ticket Day! Say a prayer for those of us who are scraping the ticket barrel, and a curse for those who resell on Viagogo.

I don’t have much else to share, except I hope you’ve all been enjoying my most recent stories. I think in the last four weeks we’ve covered cake, revenge, personal growth, superheroes, depression and magical antiquities. Such versatility! Patrons and non-patrons alike, by the way, have a cool thing coming this weekend. PREPARE TO HEAR FROM ME DURING FEBRUARY. Pledge for early access to stories here, et cetera et cetera.

I’m absolutely knackered (heart? Cold? January blues?) so I might spend the rest of the afternoon scratching away at stories because they’re paid work but don’t require any sort of communication with the outside world.

Wishing you all godspeed to the end of the month.

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