So, I’ve redecorated (it feels so pretentious to say that when all I did was change the blog theme and tag line, but I don’t think there’s another word). I fancied something a bit cleaner, with less clutter. I’ve been clearing out real life belongings, too; I’ve noticed that the inside of my head is naturally quite messy, but it’s marginally less messy when there’s less actual mess in front of me.
I said in my last post that I’d been doing some thinking about where I’d like to focus my time, and where I could take this site. 2020 feels like the best and the worst time to make big decisions? On the one hand, THE WORLD IS ON FIRE. Might as well focus on what’s important. On the other hand, THE WORLD IS ON FIRE. Basic survival is enough; there’s no need to complicate things with existential crises.
In a similar vein, the whole concept of running a blog feels quite strange these days. I love popping in here for a natter, but do I have anything to say about the state of the world that hasn’t already been said by someone more eloquent and qualified? This site used to be somewhere I’d share things about my life and what I’m up to, but I’ve realised that I’m increasingly very private. I think it’s why I have a love/loathe relationship with social media. The more you share, the more people expect you to share. I’m online partially to promote my billions of projects, but promo posts never get as much engagement as personal ones. If you want an online presence, you need an online persona, or people might not connect with you (and why should they when there are thousands of other creators they could give their time to?). That consumerist aspect of the internet makes me feel icky. The fame game (or the influencer/content creator game) is not one I have any interest in playing.
Then there are the topics I’d like to discuss: some are fairly personal, or have the potential to be. I’m disinclined to overshare, even if I’m not writing about something for the clicks, but it feels dishonest to discuss something without context. How can I claim to write with integrity when I’m being selective with the truth? That sounds like I’m hiding a major crime. Bahahaa. I couldn’t be bothered to pickpocket.
Anyway, it’s felt nice to be honest about not knowing what to discuss next. If you have any ideas (or thoughts on internet consumerist ickiness), do let me know in a comment.
Look after yourselves!