The Ten O’Clock News: Not USA-Independence Day!

The government’s gone and bought itself a massive effing boat, the unveiling of which is a massive effing attempt to convince the Scottish people to vote Union. Personally, I would then vote ‘no’ because will the Scottish government have a warship capable of carrying “40 jets and helicopters”? No. Because the Scottish government will not be […]

The Ten O’Clock News: Send Us Your Consumer Habits for a Chance to Win $20! Or not…

Technology is not on my side this evening – don’t even get me started on my ability to lose remote controls – so I need you. Yep, you, hi. One of my morning pastimes is reading news headlines off my phone to my friends and occasionally reading aloud a story. Today I learnt I have […]

The Ten O’Clock News: “and the Oscar goes to… every fuckin’ person who was involved in this goddamn hearbreaking real life fuckin’ example of human evil!”

So I think something like two-thirds of this year’s Oscars nominations are based on true stories – 12 Years a Slave, The Wolf of Wall Street, Dallas Buyers’ Club, etc. (I’m assuming they’re nominated. I’ve seen them in the press, you know?!) On an almost entirely unrelated note, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s latest musical Stephen Ward […]

The Ten O’Clock News: There’s a Word for What Happens to Your Nose When You Have a Cold!

Actually I don’t think there is. When I started this post I felt sure I could come up with a term, but the thing about colds is that they render the brain completely useless. So any suggestions are welcome. So far I’ve considered: Tissue rash Snotticus nasalrash Sneeze-induced face rash Notevenmedicationcansolvethis Ugh. Help.