Automated Email Responses?

You know when you know you’re going to be away for a while so you try to get all your work done in good time to pack and buy sandals and ensure a stress-free ten days? And you end up trying to work on five tabs, a blog and an online shop in one go?

I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to leave here for you guys… maybe a collection of my suggested YouTube videos, which is the stupidist flipping list I’ve ever come across… I suppose that is my own fault, but I really don’t want to watch season three of Orange is the New Black. Not on YouTube, anyway, and not until I’ve finished season two.

I’m also trying to come up with a nice automated email for when I’m away – you know, the ones that say ‘Doctor Mills is out of the office until 12th August, after which she will endeavour to respond to your query’. My gut wants to put ‘Francesca is currently sitting on a beach and/or asleep and she sure as shit isn’t interested in your message, HMRC/Tumblr/actual friends and colleagues, so please give her some time to respond. If you’ve heard nothing in three months, assume she’s either not interested or hasn’t left the beach’.

My head is saying that’s a bad idea. Any ideas?