2010 Things I Did in 2010 (okay maybe not)

  According to my calendar, there’s four days of 2010 left. Since it’s highly doubtful anything life-changing will take place before midnight on the 31st, I thought I’d jump on the ‘my year’ bandwagon before everyone jumps off.

  Or it’s 2011. Whichever comes first. Here it is:

  • January After three months of procrastinating, I start work on my Duke of Edinburgh award. School hands us an Ethnicity Form, which doesn’t say ‘white British’ but does say ‘white Cornish’. Ruby still has not handed her in  out of protest. I start listening to Morningwood and it snows.

 

  • February Gerard Way contracts throat cancer, I reboot my laptop by myself and realise that there’s GCSE modules coming up. I duly crap myself.  Okay, Gerard didn’t actually get throat cancer. He got a cough. 
  •  March Bob leaves My Chem, I get upset and punch a tree. Everyone hands in their options forms. I accidentally eat some of Tobi’s regurgitated leek pasta and almost puke in the school pond. A bunch of us at karate pass grading and Ellen, Isobel Jemma and I get shiny new red belts. It’s still snowing.
  •  April I start reading Watchmen, go to Belgium with my friends and somehow end up with M&Ms down my top. By the way, they stain skin.

    

  • May Duke of Edinburgh expedition. I finish Ella’s Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock after more than a year. Coalition government promises to make Britain the country everyone voted for. Even though no one voted. Isobel and I walk the Race for Life in our socks while everyone else runs in, er, actual outdoor footwear.

  • June I finish reading Watchmen,  camp in the garden with my cousins (until Maxim’s incessant 11:00pm talking pisses me off and I go inside to bed) and hit the beach with the girls. I also manage to single-handedly lose a beach ball five minutes after we bought it, on roughly the same stretch of beach, but with some entirely different girls.

 

  • July The first ever Indifferent Ignorance production hits YouTube, I head to Greece on International MCR Day and resolve to never use a Greek computer again as long as I live. This resolution is broken in October.
  • August I attend my first ever funeral (RIP Pa) and start knitting a scarf. I move my bed to vacuum under it. The bed breaks.
  • September Geography field trip to Scarborough, Art is the Weapon gets released and this blog reaches 2000 hits. This means I have to redecorate. I finish Duke of Edinburgh award.

                       

                                           

  • October MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SHOW!!! Probably my favourite day of the year. Shortly after it finishes I go to the airport for Greece wearing a t-shirt that reads ‘Mindless Self Indulgence’ on the front and ‘I ♥ Steve, Righ?’ on the back.

  Oh, the irony.

  • November MCR release Danger Days (are they rushing it?) and there’s another grading in karate. I learn to never doubt Sensei’s judgment again when I get an A – after asking if I had to grade because I wasn’t good enough. It snows.
  • December Blog gets 3000 hits (I AM NOT CHANGING THE THEME AGAIN) and I wrap my family’s Christmas presents in The Daily Telegraph.  I see Pendulum live, get a medal in karate for – quote – “Plodding on,” and finish my scarf. The final of The Apprentice airs and Maxim becomes a vegetarian, possibly for a bet.

  Happy new year.

24°C, 50% Humidity, 5MPH wind, Summer?

  I like blogging on a Sunday. Maybe it’s because Sunday is a good day to look back as well as forward, and become very zen. Or maybe it’s because I’m looking for an excuse not to do my homework.

  I’d like to tell you all that I’ve got an Exiting New Project in the pipeline, or that I’m recording an album or writing a book, but that would be lying. Yesterday I went to the beach with a bunch of kids from school and today I accompanied my family to Maxim’s boxing show/convention/almost competition. It was slightly amusing watching Maxim in the ring, although I will admit I sucked in my breath when a dude at least two years older and three inches taller than Max bashed him in the nose.

  Hey, I have to be a big sister sometimes.

  If anyone in the Kent/London area finds a yellow beach ball with a smiley face bobbing along the Thames, give me a bell and I’ll tell you where to return it. We, ahem, lost it at the beach, approximately five minutes after I forked out four quid for it. Then again, it was me who misjudged the wind’s power and chucked in the wrong direction in the first place…

  Oh, and tell off any jellyfish you find floating around. Apparently their stings hurt as much as the broken glass and syringe needles on the Thames floor. However, you haven’t experienced Essex until you’ve swallowed part of the Estuary and scratched your feet on the sea floor. Or had a mud fight using said sea floor as ammunition.

 My prediction for the England versus Germany game is that we will lose. The karma from the wars has to come back sometime. Or would that be us one upping the Nazis?

 

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

  Or, in this case, a silver wedding anniversary for my second cousins in Romford that involved no one knowing anyone while knowing everyone because we are clearly all from the same gene pool, judging by the olive skin, dark hair and interesting nose. I definitely saw a Maltese cross around my dad’s cousin Les’s neck.

  I don’t have any photos as the only one with a fraction of all the family in was taken on a fancy Canon camara by someone who wasn’t related. Possibly. Anyway, here are some snapshots of my half term:

  Wednesday, chores for cash:

Thursday: sunshine, ice cream, trampoline:

 

 

 

Thursday night, camping in the tent in our garden:

 

 

 

  Friday: beach with the girls

 

 

 

 

 

From: Ruby     To: Frank

I have such a drain brain, it drains even more than that hole in the oil pipe in the Gulf of Mexico D:

 
And so, as my brain was draining away onto the floor, I happened to look down and see a shiny little puddle (which bore quite a lot of resemblance to mercury, might I add) with you on it, pulling a face that somewhat resembles this:
 
>:U
 
or maybe
 
D:<
 
And I reached down, and with the end of my fountain pen scooped the little shiny puddle up into my hand, before proceeding to reinsert it into my ear.
 
and then,
FLASH
 
The sun went out, and thunderbolts stared raining down on my head and the ground shook beneath my feet, and I was duly frightened.
 
And then an image of God (although, now I think about it, he did bear quite a lot or resemblance to my angry next door neighbour) appeared in front of me and said:
 
‘Oh smite ye, mere earthling, as you stand at my feet trembling, for you have disobeyed the word of FRANK.’
 
And I knelt down at his feet and asked, in trembling tones ‘What have I done’.
 
And God proceeded to say ‘It is what you have not done that has displeased FRANK so mightily’
 
And then I remembered about the bicarbonate of soda, that was sitting innocently in the cupboard behind. I whirled around and grabbed it, before brandishing it at the face of God and crying out ‘Forgive me O God who looks like my angry next door neighbour, for I have truly sinned.’
 
His voice then boomed out ‘This is good. I shall forgive you this time mere earthling, but next time you shall not be so lucky’, and with this he vanished with a puff into the ceramic vase by the TV.
 
By Ruby.
 
  Here is the aforementioned bicarbonate of soda, which Ruby made seventy-three fairy cakes with last week. I am not making that up, nor are the following pictures Photoshopped.