Check Out the Ace Dental Work

Happy birthday America. Let’s just say that I will always be more inclined to say that than I will to celebrate 23rd June.

So this weekend my big-ish little brother  aged substantially and to celebrate I bought him an poo-shaped emoji cushion and a poker set (the former because I thought of him when I saw it, the latter because… I thought of him when I saw it). Now he can legally gamble his way through life, as opposed to playing monopoly with anyone who hasn’t figured out how much he cheats yet. It has just occurred to me that if one of us kills the other, we’re both now completely responsible for our actions and will both go to big scary adult prisons, so on that note I’m going to go and eat leftover party food and reminisce the days I thought he’d never be taller than me. Here is a terrible selfie indicating how much we could both use a haircut.

terrible selfie

But seriously, we owe our parents for taking us to the dentist.

Che & Yoga Mats

I’m pretty sure I have lots of important and fancypants things to tell everyone, but I have hayfever and my eyes are almost as itchy as my nose is snotty, so we’re going to watch a video instead.


I’m pretty sure The Fence is a bad guy in a film? I support the ideal of sitting on it though, because people who don’t run the risk of suffering from fuckin’ idiotism.

I’d like this for my birthday please. My RS class is doing atheism at the moment, and my group played a bit of Storm. Quite a few people laughed, although we did only play about three minutes’ worth… and I resisted the urge to show everyone the suggested videos…

… And in the News This Week Part 2 (I did not expect to reuse a title so soon)

This has been a crazy week. I say that sort of thing a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever meant it this much before. Seven days ago there was just one dog in the house, no such thing as the MCRmy Census (at least not publicly) and no existence of Tobi’s birthday present.

I was so excited when I made this, I had to go and show my parents (those places are real, by the way, I got them off the MCR tour archive. And Tobi is now fully expected to become a rapper and play the Garden in 2014).

The Killjoys’ response to the census has been amazing. Really, truly, brilliant. I’ve entered around twenty into Access so far, and every single person has had something excellent to say about either My Chemical Romance or the Rmy. I will find a way to share these stories, promise. Just give me a bit of time to log them all, I have a dodgy wrist and an increasingly large pile of coursework…

… And a new dog to play with! I get so excited when I come downstairs and remember Adonis is there, it’s stupid. He and Fred are fast becoming a dynamic duo of wagging tails and huge eyes that make you sit and stroke them for half an hour (Donnie) or play ball until you’re covered in dog spit (Fred). When I grow up I want to adopt all the stray dogs in the universe and give them their own basket to sit in, in front of a communal fire. If Frank Iero hears about the census, maybe he’ll chip in. We could save the world, one stray at a time.

There’s a thought.

No More Pencils, No More Books, No More Teachers’ Dirty Looks

  We just said an emotional farewell to Fred, who is off to someone’s home while we go to Zante.  I couldn’t accompany him to exile, it would overwhelm me. Plus he moults a lot this time of year and frankly I don’t need him sitting on my lap for the journey.

  I’ve had a crappy few days (what is with people dying when you least expect it, even though it’s expected?) so the summer holidays haven’t really sunk in yet. I’ve been busy on eBay, buying Pugsley’s vintage tea set and teasing her about it, wrapping it up with love, care and fairy godmother dust. For such a smart person, Elizabeth, you are surprisingly easy to wind up. Open that box before the sixth and I will chain you to the inside of a bus. Underneath a chlamydia advert.

  While I’m in Zakynthos I’ll be video-blogging to keep busy, along with swimming, sleeping, trying to learn Greek and not think about impending funerals. Funeral. I sincerely hope no one else kicks the bucket. If they do, I am going to have a word with my karma. I do try to be nice to people.

  Unless I can wind them up about their crushes. Then, sorry, I will mercilessly take the piss out of them. It’s a tough habit to break.

  Have a good fortnight, lovely readers in front of your screens, I will hopefully blog from Zante while I’m there. Happy International My Chemical Romance Day for tomorrow… I firmly believe Frank’s last photo and album stuff will be released on the 23rd. For the record. I think I will go and watch Torchwood and avoid packing.

  Does anyone else like Jack’s dress sense? I feel the need to buy an expensive forties military coat, a silk waistcoat and a fob watch. Also a stopwatch.