In case you hadn’t twigged, I’m not partaking in ‘Post a Day’

Why hello, children. Happy 2012!

I know it’s the seventh, but I’ve been struck down by a case of Back to School Itis and a cold. But never fear, because I have some YouTube videos that you can watch, instead of me telling you what it was like having someone play the drum part of DESTROYA on the inside of my skull.


Hedwig. Hedwig.


So true, and so sad. Thank you Chantal Claret for posting this on Twitter!


Thank you Jimmy Urine for posting this on Twitter. Let’s unite! (I don’t even watch Star Trek.)

I’m sort of, possibly in the processes of planning some excellent blog posts across this year, but my workload is nearly as tall as me, so in the words of Miranda’s posh friend, “Bear with, bear with…”

In Which I Remind You I Can Write Working Blogs

It’s been so long since I’ve sat down and decided what to write that I can’t keep track of what I have and haven’t waved in your faces. The WP Content-Eating Monster problem doesn’t help either.

However, never fear, because I’m going away late Saturday night for two whole weeks and we all know what that means: magically appearing, time-wasting posts and a book full of ideas when I get back, because I’ve spent fourteen days on a beach sleeping and tattoo-spotting! Both activities are excellent for getting those creative juice… Juicing.

Remember I mentioned doing something really special to celebrate My Chem’s ten-year anniversary? Well, I’m planning something pretty big that involves a lot of people (no, it is not a MCR karaoke sing-off, or a remake of Not Okay). I’ll probably finalise it while I’m away and then spend the rest of August nagging you all for imput.  Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

In the mean time, enjoy this:

Bite Your Tongue, by Chantal Claret. It sounds nothing like Morningwood and I love it.

In preparation of the stupidity:


I can’t work out if I love it or hate it.

Multitasking With My Linking.

I apologise for ignoring the Internet almost completely over the past week. I’m genuinely not sure when I last posted, or what it was about, I just remember Isobel’s declarations that the new comment box is ‘STUPID’. However, this afternoon I am (mostly) awake and have lots to catch you up on.

I found a really excellent blog post about Father’s Day, I think on Twitter, but it has been swallowed up by my timeline. Instead, I leave you with a video that’s partly about a dude who missed out on quite a few Father’s Days.

SHSG: What the Teachers Don’t (Want To) See

  I started this post trying to be a resourceful journalist, but it’s too much hassle and a bit stalker-like. Instead I will tell you that the reason MCR’s album is taking so long to be created is because Gerard is busy playing with sparklers. For more information, see Chantal Claret’s Twitter and her 4th of July video. Then listen out for New Jersey accents.

  So, dear readers, I know that two of you at least go to my school and at least one does not. For the one that does not, here is what goes on at lunchtime. Also morning break. Assembly. Lessons.

Tatchiana: “And then my OC was soooo gay…”

Hollie: “I’m telling you, he’s gay.”


Hayley: “He died, and he never said goodbye…”

Elisa: *frowns**mutters about serial killers**Swindles someone out of ten quid**Gives ten quid to a year seven*


Tobi: “And then his banana fell out.”

Elizabeth: “TOBI!”

Robyn: “For the fifth time, Tayler, no.”

Chloe: *kisses whoever’s closest**gives Frank pigtails**spanks Elizabeth*

Natalie: “EEEE!!!” [to envision this, think of a cat getting castrated. Raise the pitch]

Frank: *various grunting noises*

Rhiannon: “Then Gerry Butler took his clothes off and I was like WOW!”

Ruby: “Hum, num, num, dodo, gay men, dodo, men, gay dodo…”

  Please bear in mind this is simultaneous. No wonder everyone avoids us…

  Thank you to Elizabeth for creating this. I hope I did the extras justice.


Hail Frank’s Impending Brain Apocalypse.

  I have had been reading Chantal Claret’s blogs on and she is awesome. Crazy, talented and honest. Plus she has tre cool hair. Anyway, she has inspired me to write a blog on here and I thought I’d fill you in with stuff that’s gone on during this topsy-turvy day.

  My Dad went away earlier, I have no idea why or where, probably business, for a couple of days, but I don’t think I’ll miss him because we exchange an average of two words a week.

  My mother is at my parents’ evening at school, which I refused to attend on the basis my teachers won’t say what they think of me if I am sitting right there, sneaky buggers.

  I am fracking exhausted. This is because of my self-inflicted  idiocy. I have my VERY FIRST I’MA-CRAP-MY-SKINNIES SCIENCE GCSES on Friday week (the 5th, if you care). I am trying to revise lots as I am ‘conscinecious’. Translation: I am a sucker for karma. So I’ve been making notes on the old Edexel CD-textbook thing and haven’t had much time to write, which automatically means my brain has a period. Bits of my skull collapse in on themselves, I am not making this up. I have also discovered Percy Jackson. I saw the movie last week. My brother loves the books, has for years, and I read a bit of Lightning Thief before he found me with it and yelled at me, so I kinda-sorta-pretended I knew plot of the film. By the way, the Percy actor is not twelve. He has his shirt off in the first scene. Anyway, I borrowed the first book from Maxim (gave him Fang) and got addicted. The second book is on my desk right now. I want to read it but I know if I sit in bed with it I will consider sleep a tool for mere mortals and not bother with it. This is bad.

  I am now an irritable, hungry (get hungry when I’m stressed) ‘munchkin’.

  Cannot belive it is only Wednesday, I have a karate grading on the twentieth, Duke of Edinburgh stuff to do (SPONSOR ME FOR THE RACE FOR LIFE. CLICK THE WIDGET. DONATE. I WILL WRITE YOU A HAIKU) and I’m getting depressed. I get depressed when I’m stressed to, which is why I am treating you to a crappy emo-rant.

  Was going to write my version of the ten commandments, but… Actually, what the hell. Here goes:

How to Live Your Life According to Me

  • If there’s no faith, there’s no point.
  • There is always faith, no matter what it is in (and whether or not it is good or bad). So, even if you’re a genocidal madman who is being manhunted by the CIA and you think you want to hang yourself, there is always hope, even if it is in your beard or your nuclear weapons of mass destruction. You’ve shaved or had your nukes stolen? See number one, you may as well find a skipping rope and some rafters.
  • Karma is very real. So:
  • Bad things happen to bad people. However,
  • The only person who can make you feel guilty is yourself. If you do something that you know in your heart is wrong (at least according to your morals) you will suffer in life and death. Basically, you set your own standards. Same goes with being ‘good’.
  • People go where they want to when they die, and death will come in whatever form you want it to. Grim Reaper, Pearly Gates, The Black Parade, etc.

  That is my list of Honest Truths (written in RS, of course) and I am glad I posted them because I am sure they will be different when I am twenty or eighty or married or in prison or whatever and I need a record. Will forget to transcript into my diary…

  By the way, I heard a rumour that people read this. It makes me feel loved the way a prostitute wants to feel loved, so please comment, even if it’s to tell me that you won’t donate to my Race for Life/Duke of Ed. cause because I am a rude muthafrackin’ little toss pot who needs a slap in the goddamn face.

  Told you I was tired. When I regain full conscienceless I will regret ever logging on here.

It’s a Small World After All….*visits Disneyland and the ride*

  Because today I discovered a really cool new song, purely down to Essex FM (as it was three years ago)…

  The Web of Infamous Non-Celebrities

  Late 2006: Essex Fm plays Welcome to the Black Parade and interviews Gerard Way. I discover My Chemical Romance over the course of the next year.

  2007: I visit Wikipedia to see if My Chem are interesting. They are, which I secretly already knew. They have also toured with Mindless Self Indulgence. MSI get a lot of crap due to fangirls visiting shows to see Mr. G. Way, whom their bassist (Lyn-Z) is married to.

  2008-2009: I read about MSI in Kerrang! magazine and they keep cropping up on YouTube comment boards when I listen to The Black Parade. I finally get tired of not being in the know and listen to them on YouTube.

  Later in 2009: They annoy and scare me.

  Even later in 2009: I listen to them again.

  Yeah, still 2009: I follow My Chem’s members and MSI on Twitter. I am scared by Jimmy Urine(the singer dude in Mindless Self Indulgence) once again, but realise he talks sense. I notice he frequently tweets @chantalclaret. I investigate (Look Mindless up on Wiki) and discover that Chantal Claret is Jimmy’s wife and sings in a New York band called Morningwood.

  TODAY: I am on the look out for new music so YouTube and Google search Morningwood. I listen to Best of Me and discover I am not scared by this new band.

  LATER TODAY: I realise I have heard of the show that Best of Me was the theme song of. It’s a spin-off of a reality TV show Ray Toro blogged about on the MCR website last April.

  Told ya.