Just Your Average Friday

   Visualise this.  My Physics’ teacher’s classroom, 9:30ish am, Friday morning. Usually a scene of utter pain and confusion on my part. Today, however, we had a cover, and everyone talked rather a lot. So much, in fact, Ruby felt comfortable waving a sheet at me from her bench.   “You can tell an English person drew this, can’t […]

Ruby’s Social Experiment to Go to Sleep, or, How to Become a Raving Lesbian in Six Steps

  Scene: Victoria  Sea View Hotel, Scarborough, Yorkshire   Step 1) When a person knocks on the door, turn out light and pretend to be asleep before the door opens (there is no lock).   Step 2) Sarah walks in and asks for her iPod back.   Step 3) Within a second, two or three […]

Tea At The Ritz, Being Part One of Two Blogs, ‘In the Last Week Frank Has Left the House’

  Last Tuesday it was my mum’s fiftieth birthday (I’m sure she appreciates my informing the Internet of this fact). Because she is Mum, and a secret Mrs. Bucket, my immediate family plus one grandmother took a trip to London. To The Ritz Hotel. For afternoon tea… At half seven in the evening. Apparently you have to […]