Because We Secretly Love to Know What People Type into Google.

  The highlight of my day was scrolling through the search engine terms that find Indifferent Ignorance just now and seeing one of them was ‘i want to read sexy conversation’. I also like ‘osama bin laden height’ and ‘frank iero moustache tattoo’. And ‘gerard way in prison’. And ‘friday sun tv film 25-12-2010 what was english film at 10 clock’. ‘gerard way without makeup’. ‘is shsg shut’. ‘italian jawline’. ‘extreme porn mardi gras’. I could go on, but I need to get my stuff together for Berlin.

  You know what? You can have the URL and decide for yourself what search is the funniest.

  Second day without biscuits… I can feel myself dropping a dress size; I had to eat an apple earlier.


  It transpires that you can only see the link if you’re logged into a WordPress account. So I’m going to leave you with that nice taster and print screen or something, when I’ve got time – so don’t hold your breath.

Now That is What I Go to School For.

  What comes to mind when you see this?

  When I walked into History third period I nearly said out loud, “But at least they have one another to keep warm on those looong, dark nights….”

  Then I took another look. You should too.

  Were these women really telling their fellas to go off and fight for Blighty because they wanted them out of the way?

  I should have got way more than 73% on my Cold War test. I rock at analysis.

If This Pings Your Inbox As You Watch, It’s Way Past Your Bedtime.

  A chain email that is so excellent it should be published officially. By me, of course.


Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant

3. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.

4. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.

5. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.

6. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.

7. In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.

8. In  UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

  I know for a fact that number eight is true. Anyone out there from any other places, please let me know how accurate this is!

What Do You Get if You Cross a Pig Torch, ‘Harry Potter’ and a Makeup Mirror? Punchline: Spotty Vision.

  I just scored nine out of nine on a higher tier BBC Bitesize Biology test, so I  decided to blog in celebration.

  Admittedly, I did cheat by doing the lower tier one first, but hey; you learn from your mistakes.

 In the name of revision and education, this afternoon I performed a very complex experiment incorporating Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, a makeup mirror and a torch shaped like a pig.



 Simple, really. The mirror goes on top of Harry Potter, I sit in front of the contraption and lean forwards, shining light in my eye as I do so. The radial muscles in my iris relax as a result of light exposure, but the circular muscles contract. The black hole that is my pupil gets smaller and less light gets in, damaging the retina (the bit at the back that looks like cracked earth imprinted on your vision after an eye test).

  If you take light away, the radial muscles contract and the circular ones relax, letting in more light so you can see. Rather cool, methinks. At least, I think I now know how to answer questions in the module; in the end-of-years last term we hadn’t covered the eye and I resorted to moving my glasses up and down thinking, ‘I can see, now I can’t… This must mean the answer is B.’

  NB: please don’t try this at home. I don’t want to be sued by angry parents for singed eyebrows (if you use a magnifying glass) and migraines.

  Now I’m off to revise for a Chemistry test in which the teacher will ask us approximately none of what she told us to learn.