Six Degrees of Separation: the Bloke Off TV Appearing Alongside Another Bloke Off TV!

Okay so the following was written between last Wednesday and yesterday but the Internet fluffed up so it’s going online now. Let’s pretend I’m not totally over English and moving on to Politics:

Here’s the six degrees of separation post I mentioned last week. The original title was “I’m getting to a point in my life where if I read a film advert and Benedict Cumberbatch’s name isn’t in the titles, I’m surprised and a little disappointed in both the actor and the industry.” In capitals.

Or something (I think I thought it up mid-multitask). Anyway:

  • Last Monday I saw Sam Mendes’ production of King Lear at the National. It’s definitely worth a watch if you’re interested in Shakespeare, parenting, dementia, the weather and/or a lack of ability to understand one’s offspring
  • The actor playing the Fool is Alan Scarborough, whose TV work includes Pete off Gavin and Stacey and last week’s episode of Death in Paradise
  • That Death in Paradise episode featured Vinette Robinson, who’s in Sherlock
  • …alongside a guy named Tom Brooke, aka Billy the squishy-armed junkie, who is currently playing Edgar in King Lear
  • King Lear has been portrayed by a lot of people, one of whom is Ian McKellen. He plays Gandalf in The Hobbit alongside the bloke who plays Sherlock
  • …whose extensive film-based portfolio has been rumoured to include James Bond, the last and next film of which Sam Mendes has directed/will direct.

In the interest of not spreading rumours, can I please point out that by “rumoured to include James Bond” I mean “I saw an interview in which the man himself mentioned rumours”. Don’t spread shit snowflakes.

This post is a slight letdown if I’m being honest, possibly because I thought of it a week ago… is there a non-Christmas-based version of “bah humbug”?

Right, I’m going to revise King Lear and some poetry. Lots of poetry. Quite a bit of poetry. Varying levels of poetry depending on how frustrated I get. Poetry and The Rivals. Which David Tennant was in ages ago. Tennant played Hamlet. Cumberbatch is going to play Hamlet. Oh for God’s sake.

Another update after this actually got published: Jay told me that Tom Brooke is also in Game of Thrones. He likes Game of Thrones. One of my short-term goals is to read it before George RR Martin dies. Not relevant. “Oh bullocks” indeed.

The Six O’Clock News: Friday 13th By Hollie and Chloe

It’s Friday 13th, so I thought we should go for something spooky and/or spiritual and/or religious today…

Teen exorcists: Women who expel demons on stage

So there are some girls who are fuckin’ idiots.

Hi. This is Chloe. Chloe wants to explain you a thing. These so called “exorcists” truly and actually believe that Harry Potter is endorsing Satanism. WHAT. THE. HELL. (no pun intended. I hate puns.) They are preaching that these spells are very real and very dangerous. Okay seriously what. Even if they were, whats wrong with that? The amount of times I wish I could just “accio” something, or “alohamora” every time I forget my keys, or even “crucio” half the people I go to school with! Wouldn’t life be better if the magic of Harry Potter WAS real?! And that’s what it is. Magic. Not demon related voodoo, there’s no mention of sacrificing souls to Satan (except Voldemort, and we all know what happened to him!) and I’m pretty sure the only resemblance of the devil seen in the franchise was Dolores Umbridge. But hey. It doesn’t seem to be stopping these stupid muggles from trying to rain on our parade. They say that J.K .Rowling “used real pagan spells to inspire her work.” Okay no. Just no. Most of these spells are actually just Latin translations of what they do. and as far as I know, Latin has been okay with the Church for quite a few centuries. In fact, weren’t sermons, religious texts, engravings and even demon exorcisms writing in LATIN? so, if the language of the Harry Potter spells summons demons, the logic is OBVIOUSLY to use THE SAME LANGUAGE to get rid of them. right? RIGHT?! No. Just no.  I really hope Voldemort shows up during their live exorcism and crucio’s their sorry asses back to where they came from. England is the land of Harry Potter and we are damn proud of it. Go away. STAY away.

And now, the weather.

 

~ sun–and-stars.tumblr.com ( Chloe) ❤

Sir Patrick Stewart marries, Sir Ian McKellen officiates

Some people make great minsters. It helps if they’re thespians though.

hello friends my name is hollie & frank told me 2 write about that professor x got maried the other day & it was apparently wild. but idk b/c I wasn’t there but it looked pretty ok

so like he got married in a ball pit???? like idk that’s what twitter said and I guess that’s pretty rad b/c ok lets be honest who even gives a shit about proper marriages any more 4 reals

like yea it gotta be in da castle and erry1 gotta b cryin with the joys and tiny baby girls throwin around the flowerz and the singing happy jesus or w/e no man come in its the 21st century and we have jetpacks y’all don’t need to be fussin over da holy holies marriage. like patty stew is a rad guy so im pretty sure hell be in love and married 4evr but like most of da peeps gon get divorce like next week and every1 no it so its like pretty dumb and kind of awkward. it cost like £40973498 for castle marry & its like yo do u even realise how much ice cream u could have bought with that u wouldn’t nEED to get married. so yea good job dude fight against the convention u r the future we all should aspire to bALL PITS ARE THE FUTURE

also another thing is like they got married by Gandalf & if THAT AINT THE RADDEST LOVE SHOWiN then love is dead my brothas b/c u no what happened 2 gandal??? hE DIED & the n CAME BACK TO LIFE like wow that’s crazy so like getting maried by him is kinda like a good sign that U WILL NEVER DIE YOU ARE IMMORTAL CONGRATULATIONS

ngl who needs like certified priest dudes wen u have this like come on every1 lets abandon da church & go get our doges 2 marry us like can u even imagine that it would be like there would have 2 be a translator or w/e but it would 65% probably be worth it

but actually tbh I think marriage is the dumbest thing ever like why would u even but this is prety cool thing so yea good job star trek guy

 

kingshota.tumblr.com

~

…And on that note I will be writing about intelligent topics with correct grammar next week (you’re welcome for the last four years of excellent grammar, by the way.