Things I Googled for The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes, in Order to Look Slightly Competent

I’ve been clearing out some old pieces of paperwork lately (it’s probably more accurate to say I’m always doing it, just at a rate of about one piece of paper per week). One of the scraps I found was a couple of random things I googled when I was writing The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes. I actually started a post about this very topic months ago, so as today is an extra day and should probably be productive, I’ve finished it:

Do violets have a scent?

Um, yes. They smell of… violets.

Can rabbits wear harnesses?

Yep. They look like this.

Can rabbits eat aubergine?

Yes, although the internet advises that one should not over-feed one’s rabbit aubergine.

False imprisonment

That’s it. That’s all I searched. I think it must have been something for The Prince in the Tower, the second of the stories (so were the rabbit questions, actually). I think I was just checking I hadn’t confused false imprisonment with something else. Genuine imprisonment? Who knows.

Is all suede beige?

Not really? Some suede looks more cream and less, well, beige. This was also a question for The Prince in the Tower. I can’t believe I managed to write a novel about all the things I am interested in (magic! Hot weather! Teenage girls saving the world!) and still include my least favourite colour. 

Thus concludes my list. I like to think that without the internet I would have found out the answers, but without the internet the novel would likely still be on my computer collecting dust. Instead, you can read the opening chapters here and the rest by joining my Patreon! That segue was a hint, by the way. Your life will be far richer for knowing why I needed to know if rabbits can wear harnesses. And if you’re reading this and it’s still Leap Day 2020, you’ll get a story commission from me as well as the usual bits and pieces (a character named after you! Name in book thank yous! A book featuring rabbits and/or harnesses!) when you join up. That’s just until 11pm today, though. The real reward, I think we can agree, is the rabbit thing.

rabbit wearing a harness that reads 'police'
Thank you to Bunny Approved for this wonderful image (and useful information)

God Exists. #Justice4Leo

I would like to thank leap day for the opportunity to eat an extra day’s worth of crispbread. Did anyone else get up today and think ‘I had better make it count since the gods have granted mercy on my workload and blessed me with an extra day to get my shit done’? And did anyone else spend half of that day in a state of ridiculous happiness about Leonardo diCaprio at the Oscars?

Good. I mean, I feel like one of my uncles just won the Academy Award. It’s like he’s risen above the sea of racist family banter and decade-old cliques to slay at the annual murder mystery.

LEO FUCKIN WON AMEN from Villiage Roadshow Pictures
from Villiage Roadshow Pictures

There is a lot of shit in this world, but a small wrong has been righted and somewhere there is a lesson for us all.

Dinner time: ‘If Leonardo diCaprio can wait 22 years for on Oscar you can wait a little longer for dinner to cook young lady’

Customer service: ‘You waited a whole day for your Xbox to arrive? Well come back in 22 years’

Traffic jams: ‘It takes longer to get down the M25 than it did for diCaprio to get an Oscar’

Teachers: ‘Now we know five years seems a long time to study, but it took a certain golden-haired angel two decades to win acclaim for his work, so you just take this B and think about what subjects you want to take at uni’

And the one I’m going to holler at everyone: ‘if Leo waited 22 years to win an Oscar you can wait two fucking minutes for me to get the door’

Oh, the possibilities. Okay I’m going to go read screenplays and exercise and do all the other things I never get round to the rest of the year.

First Ever Leap-Day Post. May It Age Four Times More Slowly Than the Rest of Them Have.

I have been so caught up in working on the new Rmy site that I’ve quite neglected Indifferent Ignorance of late. This will change when I get myself organised (so don’t hold your breath) but in the meantime I thought I’d write my first ever leap-day post! I mean, this whole blog could be biting the dust in 2016, so we should strike while the iron’s hot…

Sadly, I have become very boring of late and don’t actually have all that much to talk about. Okay, that’s a lie, I do, but I need to get my head straight first. So, again, don’t hold your breath.

I’d love to put something witty here, but my wrist’s playing up and we’re trying to spot Ross and Grant in the stands at the Holland/England game…

There aren’t any stupid leap-day memes.