2010 Things I Did in 2010 (okay maybe not)

  According to my calendar, there’s four days of 2010 left. Since it’s highly doubtful anything life-changing will take place before midnight on the 31st, I thought I’d jump on the ‘my year’ bandwagon before everyone jumps off.

  Or it’s 2011. Whichever comes first. Here it is:

  • January After three months of procrastinating, I start work on my Duke of Edinburgh award. School hands us an Ethnicity Form, which doesn’t say ‘white British’ but does say ‘white Cornish’. Ruby still has not handed her in  out of protest. I start listening to Morningwood and it snows.

 

  • February Gerard Way contracts throat cancer, I reboot my laptop by myself and realise that there’s GCSE modules coming up. I duly crap myself.  Okay, Gerard didn’t actually get throat cancer. He got a cough. 
  •  March Bob leaves My Chem, I get upset and punch a tree. Everyone hands in their options forms. I accidentally eat some of Tobi’s regurgitated leek pasta and almost puke in the school pond. A bunch of us at karate pass grading and Ellen, Isobel Jemma and I get shiny new red belts. It’s still snowing.
  •  April I start reading Watchmen, go to Belgium with my friends and somehow end up with M&Ms down my top. By the way, they stain skin.

    

  • May Duke of Edinburgh expedition. I finish Ella’s Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock after more than a year. Coalition government promises to make Britain the country everyone voted for. Even though no one voted. Isobel and I walk the Race for Life in our socks while everyone else runs in, er, actual outdoor footwear.

  • June I finish reading Watchmen,  camp in the garden with my cousins (until Maxim’s incessant 11:00pm talking pisses me off and I go inside to bed) and hit the beach with the girls. I also manage to single-handedly lose a beach ball five minutes after we bought it, on roughly the same stretch of beach, but with some entirely different girls.

 

  • July The first ever Indifferent Ignorance production hits YouTube, I head to Greece on International MCR Day and resolve to never use a Greek computer again as long as I live. This resolution is broken in October.
  • August I attend my first ever funeral (RIP Pa) and start knitting a scarf. I move my bed to vacuum under it. The bed breaks.
  • September Geography field trip to Scarborough, Art is the Weapon gets released and this blog reaches 2000 hits. This means I have to redecorate. I finish Duke of Edinburgh award.

                       

                                           

  • October MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SHOW!!! Probably my favourite day of the year. Shortly after it finishes I go to the airport for Greece wearing a t-shirt that reads ‘Mindless Self Indulgence’ on the front and ‘I ♥ Steve, Righ?’ on the back.

  Oh, the irony.

  • November MCR release Danger Days (are they rushing it?) and there’s another grading in karate. I learn to never doubt Sensei’s judgment again when I get an A – after asking if I had to grade because I wasn’t good enough. It snows.
  • December Blog gets 3000 hits (I AM NOT CHANGING THE THEME AGAIN) and I wrap my family’s Christmas presents in The Daily Telegraph.  I see Pendulum live, get a medal in karate for – quote – “Plodding on,” and finish my scarf. The final of The Apprentice airs and Maxim becomes a vegetarian, possibly for a bet.

  Happy new year.

Ruby’s Social Experiment to Go to Sleep, or, How to Become a Raving Lesbian in Six Steps

  Scene: Victoria  Sea View Hotel, Scarborough, Yorkshire

  Step 1) When a person knocks on the door, turn out light and pretend to be asleep before the door opens (there is no lock).

  Step 2) Sarah walks in and asks for her iPod back.

  Step 3) Within a second, two or three preps whose names are unknown (because they all look the same) appear at door and say, “Are you asleep already?” Then, “Oh, I thought you were naked in bed with each other and that’s why the lights were off.”

  Step 4) Stare dumbfounded at silhouetted preps until they go next door.

  Step 5) Sarah retrieves her iPod, complains about Melody’s Family Guy addiction and Tobi’s insistence on showing everyone her cleavage and leaves.

  Step 6) Five minutes later, there is a knock at the door. “We’re not naked,” Ruby assures the visitor, but regardless of the switched-on light, no one enters.

  Please note that only steps one and two were planned.

 

 

 

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I Need… AA?!

  Do you ever get that feeling where you’re right on the edge of something brilliant, but you’re too lazy to think of it?

  Part of me reckons I’ve got a touch of artistitis after a slight cold which I’ve given most people in the immediate vicinity, but there’s no diagnosis for the dreaded AA. So I need Mindless songs and someone to bounce ideas off. Good thing that next week I’m in Scarborough with school, learning about erosion, discordant coastlines and Flamborough, amongst Yorkshirians. Yorkists.

  Northerners.

  Actually, I’ve been listening to Green Day on YouTube while brainstorming blog ideas and banging out my BRAND NEW AWESOME Morningwood CD, Diamonds & Studs, and it’s given me a kick up the backside to play guitar again. Or at least invest in stickers.

  I think I’ll go and read bad, bad fan fiction on DeviantART now, but I’m learning about the automatic-update thing on here so there may be an amusing post up sometime next week, to amuse you all while I’m away wrestling Ruby off a cliff ledge.

  Wish me luck… I get the feeling she’s stronger than she looks.