Usually the news is an hour or five late because I have life stuff on – it’s rarely written early and it’s never been a week and a day early. What the hell am I supposed to write about? For all I know, Current Me is typing this in normal life but by 18th July 2014, normal life may be over due to a terror attack or accident or excellent event (why can I never think of examples of good stuff?) and Future Me might be living like a Killjoy (or not living at all which is a really fucking depressing thought). I usually make a point of ignoring The Outside World when I’m on holiday because I spend roughly 350 days per year attached to the Internet and my only other time off is Christmas.
So let’s look back.
In 0064 AD, according to DatesInHistory.com, Rome burnt while Emperor Nero played the violin. In 1536 the Pope was officially, ah, outed by the English so Henry VIII could get married. In 1830 Uruguay adopted its first constitution. In 1925 the first edition of Mein Kampf was published and in 1951 Uruguay “accepted its constitution”…
Let’s assume today has been just as lovely! Apparently the football World Cup will have been over by then… what’s the next thing? The Euro cup? The Olympics?
Presuming that I don’t have my electronics/right to fly removed, when you read this I will be either asleep or eating, which isn’t a huge difference to normal, although it will be a) eight o’clock where I am, and b) I won’t have a clue if it goes wrong because my one holiday rule is that I ignore the Internet. But I’m not ignoring you, right? I’ve rigged up some magic so you can read this!
I’m not sure whether it’s heyfever, a cold, exhaustion or sheer utter relief that I’m not in school any more (or maybe all four) but my eyes hurt and I can’t really remember how to type so I decided that instead of the News we should share bullshit news stories that are almost too weird to believe.
Unfortunately after two years of minimal commenting I am aware that maybe two people will respond so here is a video with unlikely pertinence to the ISIS shit that’s currently going down which is actually too depressing for me to write about before my eyeballs fall out. So Tim can say some stuff!
If I remember correctly he follows up that sketch with the Pope Song… can’t remember if that has any baring on current events so I’m going to see the dogs and maybe complain about football.
I mean really, it’s a ball game. Even I know that you’re supposed to score goals and stuff…
I feel it would be deeply ironic if I missed the News because of my last ever Politics exam so here is a fun video of GWay at the K! AwardsElectric Century’s songanything MCR-related damnit I’m back in an ‘MCR phase’. I may have never left an ‘MCR phase’. Also I can’t think of any videos that are appropriate so here are some fun stats that hopefully I’ll have regurgitated into an essay or four by the time this goes out:
The UK spends 0.7% of its GDP on international aid, which was over £11 billion in 2013… in 2012 someone effed up and gave £87 million to Somalia, estimated to be the world’s most corrupt state (£200 million went to Afghanistan, the third-most corrupt state). By ‘someone effed up’ I mean that loads of people are corrupt for a variety of shitty reasons
In 2002 the African Union estimated that $150 billion international aid is lost to corruption every year
Half of Africa’s population live on less than $1 per day
Living on under $1.25 per day means you’re in absolute poverty – about 20% of the world’s population is – but relative poverty means that even people in the UK or the States are ‘poor’… interestingly, 40% America’s wealth goes to 1% its population. If you’re reading this, Mr Obama, sort that shit out, yeah?
The UN accidentally gave Haiti cholera when it was giving aid there after the earthquake because some Nepalese troops had picked it up. Oopsie. Still, the UN tried to help which is good because often genocides happen when it doesn’t (hi Rwanda!)
Around 50,000 rapes occurred in the Bosnian War of 1992-5 and there’s been less than 70 convictions. Nope, that’s not a typo
The DRC has had $17 billion of odious debt (which is debt left over from a dictator borrowing cash) written off, which was nice as the dictator man, President Mobutu, is believed to have nicked at least $5 billion of it to build himself a palace in the middle of the jungle. These days it looks like a carpark.
It’s a good thing I know how to control angry swearing and sarcasm… please remind me that bad news looks better in pink.
Doing this on a superduper tight time limit so let’s just watch and enjoy – or not – these gems.
Thank you to Jacki for showing me this – it’s definitely made me think about public perception and domestic violence. I think it’s called the Kitty Genovese effect when nobody in a group helps an individual because they think someone else in the group should? I’m half-remembering Watchmen and last year’s psychology lessons, seriously, let me know if I’ve butchered science!
I haven’t heard the next one properly yet so if it’s bullshit and not just because of UKIP I do apologise, please let me know.
This isn’t news but I just saw it so let’s pretend it’s still Oscar season! Lupita for president of the world!
It’s kind of funny/depressing that white people in the UK are giving themselves cancer on sunbeds for a tan while tanned people are actually bleaching their skin. Citizens of the universe: the media is full of crap so ignore it and please wear sunscreen. Love, Francesca xxx
Since yesterday’s post involved dancing Tim and poetry, this one’s short.
I haven’t followed this story as much as I ought to, considering it’s an excellent case study for Politics, but can we please take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of the Iranian Happy Dance Prison Fiasco? (I don’t think they called it that.) I actually can’t find the original tribute amongst the plethora of news clips, although there are a few others from different states that I would watch if I wasn’t unsure as to whether I really like Happy or want to punch it… Anyway, the Iranian authorities considered the dancing to be “vulgar” and said they “hurt public chastity”. I mean come on, the dancing wasn’t that bad…
Still. It’s interesting to see what different societies – or authorities – think is/isn’t appropriate. Wasn’t Frankie Goes to Hollywood banned by the BBC ages ago? I think a few rock ‘n’ roll bands have been too – I’m sure MCR was banned from playing in a car park after it provided tour space back in the day – and yet Blurred Lines is still played on radio in public spaces. Yuck.
So, question of the week: if you could ban bullshit pop culture, what would it be and why and conversely, is there anything that’s been restricted that you think shouldn’t have been?
Let’s pretend it’s a democratic and scientific study!
I’m aware that the news hasn’t been brilliantly analytical lately and hopefully this will be remedied when school’s over and I have less on my plate. In the mean time:
The BBC’s got this new interactive-education-scroll-y thing called iWonder, and this one explains the history of passion plays, which range from thanks to God for having not got the Plague to everybody’s favourite musical (I’m wearing my JCS top and cross earrings today. Part of me wants to start a fashion blog based around dressing for holidays or in the spirit of fictional characters). Fun fact: John the Evangelist wrote that Jesus died on Passover because he saw Jesus as the passover lamb for all people/believers. Cool huh? Plus the town of Oberammergau, which apparently puts on a passion play a bit like how the Scots put on New Year, has NATO School.
The iWonder thinggy also has a piece explaining why Easter is never on the same day… basically if Church officials can argue over something then they will.
I just realised that there will always be a Six O’Clock News on Good Friday. Bugger, I’ll have to find actual Easter-related news next year. Ukraine’s not got a lot in common with the holiday and neither do east Asian vehicle disasters. Other than the weather – it’ll rain, surprise! – and TV – there will be programmes, surprise! – there aren’t many Easter-specific bulletins. Which I guess is kind of a relief given that the festival is two thousand years old?
Here is my favourite Easter art:
Here is my second-favourite piece, which was painted for a monastery hospital. Jesus has the same illness as the one the hospital treated, ergotism, to make the patients feel better:
I can’t type with my right hand because I’ve done three essays this week and it’s achy and I can’t type with my left hand because I cut my index finger so I am tapping this out using three fingers and a thumb. Dexterity is my word of the day… and writing coherently isn’t going to happen, so here is a documentary that was on BBC Three last week.
They’re shutting down BBC Three for television and moving it to the Internet because its shit programmes put people off its great ones (officially: it’s quite expensive). James Cordon has a point about consumers’ habits changing, but it worries me a bit that if the channel goes, less people will see things like this:
Did I want an excuse to put ‘boobies’ in the tag box? Yes. (I’m secretly a six-year-old when it comes to laughing at swears. Haha ‘swears’.) Was it news that twenty-somethings can get cancer and die? Yep, and I can count six people I personally know who have or had had cancer. So cancer isn’t news but it still manages to continue to reach new levels of shittiness… hopefully if more shows like this get broadcast, maybe I’ll get to do a post about cancer-curing treatments in future?
I actually can’t type like this without wanting to kill my computer so ‘documentary day’ may become a thing for the next time I screw up my hand(s). Anyone have any suggestions?