Lesson of the Week: Commonwealth Games Diving GIFs Don’t Exist.

I’m kind of bummed out that no one’s really picked up on the irony of the WWI commemorations being immediately followed on news bulletins by info on the Gaza war… I’m also fed up with being bummed out so I’ve been watching Frank’s new video for intestine-filled kicks. Is it also ironic that Frank’s a vegetarian?

Anyway, I’ve been tapping away at commissions and etching out a legit portfolio site, which you can expect to see in roughly 3.7 million years or when I’ve got the cash to replace the standard colour palette with something I like. Business is a little slow at the moment – possibly because everyone’s on holiday, possibly because they’ve all been mesmerised by the Commonwealth Games and haven’t yet left their sofas.

[Insert imaginary GIF of a diver diving off the 10m board here. I thought it would look cool because their twisty dives are brilliant and hypnotic but there is not one fucking GIF of a single diver in action. So here is an entire YouTube video. Please go to 3 minutes 40 seconds to get whatever the fuck I was aiming to post about two hours ago before 20 tabs Googling Tom Daley drove me mad. The rest of the post was finished two hours ago. Two hours. I’m going to have nightmares about search engines.]

Anyway. I was thinking that it would be cool to do little flash fiction giveaways every week, to keep my mini story muscles flexed (my friend Jay has asked me to do 5k words on a prompt inspired by Cloud Atlas, a book I haven’t actually read. Expect it in one-to-two weeks!).

So if you fancy reading something shorter than a Vice article but longer than the phrases on coffee mugs, leave a comment with an idea or phrase and I’ll rustle something up!

Ew, I feel like a chef.

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Moving Image Appreciation Post #7

In case you were wondering what I want to be listening to on the beach, here are some videos that I can’t wait to get the CDs for!

frnkiero andthe cellabration weighted

I don’t care that it’s not got footage. Let’s flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Lily Allen URL Badman

I don’t care that this very site to which I owe two thirds of my writing career (‘career’). Lily is brilliant!

NME interview: Gerard Way On Solo Life After My Chemical Romance

I don’t care that there’s not a tune in sight. (I do care that I can’t go to Reading or Leeds. Take pictures at Leeds Jacki! Please!)

Yes/No Show with those guys from X Men

I first saw a GIFset of one of the questions on Tumblr, then the video popped up on the YouTube suggestions and it’s funnier with the accent. This probably isn’t available on CD. Whatever.